New Year 2019 - happy healing!

The turn of the year is traditionally a time to reflect the past and anticipate and plan the future. Divination has been a part of new year traditions in many cultures for aeons.

For example, my family used to do tin casting, melting of little horse shoes made of tin, to predict the coming year based on the shadow the melted lump would cast on the wall. My parents have never been believers in divination, really, but that was a fun and family-friendly tradition we always did in the late evening of the New Year's Eve, before venturing out to watch the fireworks in the snow.

Instead of horse shoes or melting metal, these days I'm more interested in the messages Tarot cards can deliver. For next year, I decided to take a look what I could focus on in terms of inner and outer healing; repairing or improving something in my outlook in life.

Here's a 9-card example reading if you'd like to try this at home.

What I need to heal in 2019 and why? 7 PENTACLES RX - ACE OF WANDS RX

I need to heal my impatience, the forever-present feeling that things should already be happening and I should already be reaping the rewards even if I just started something new. Projects, ideas, new life stages naturally need time to unfold and mature and hurrying up this process is like trying to force a plant to grow - useless. Everything will grow taking its time. Feeling impatient, frustrated or trapped by it is equally useless. Breath, relax, calm down, put in the effort but also remember to allow time for baby steps and quiet, slow progress.

Why is it important to learn patience? Without it, I quickly burn out my enthusiasm and zest. Ideas and plans spark to life and die as quickly, without leaving any mark to the world, if I don't have the patience and grit to carry them out fully. Even if it takes twice as long as I anticipated or would like.

What are the best steps to take to heal? 9 CUPS - 6 WANDS

Enjoy daydreaming and revelling in wishes, hopes, plans and past positive memories. Letting the mind wander and wonder is essential for anything new to come to life - new plans, ideas, projects, steps. Sometimes relaxing and simply accepting life as it is, finding the beauty in the everyday, are the best breeding grounds for the new seeds. Cats nap most of their day, preserving energy and enjoying the warmth of the sun or home hearth. Why not follow these masters' suit?

Enjoy the successes you've already experienced and about to experience; allow yourself to be happy and proud when acknowledged by others for your hard work or skills. Recognition should never be the ultimate goal as anything external is fleeting, but it can help build confidence and determination to achieve what you want to achieve.

What are the most likely obstacles for my healing? 10 SWORDS - TOWER RX

Wow, dramatic! Seems like the biggest obstacles are the possibility of taking things too seriously, being overtly dramatic about things not going my way, and feeling like everything's failing or collapsing when in reality, nothing of that magnitude is going on. Again, the message of patience, calming down and taking it easy repeats but in a different iteration.

Even if I feel stuck, directionless or aimless, I shouldn't give in to the feelings of desperation. There's absolutely no need to feel that strongly about inevitable setbacks and delays. Just breathe, stay focused, stay on track. If things start going drastically wrong in any area of life, step back and regroup instead of throwing yourself into an emergency mode.

How will my life be different after I heal? PAGE OF CUPS RX - 2 PENTACLES RX - STRENGTH

I will no longer feel emotionally immature or like I'm a juggler failing at my performance. Healing this aspect of myself will improve my inner and outer strength, perseverance, the ability to stay focused and keep any instinctive knee-jerk reactions at check. My life will be less hectic, less reactionary, and more serene. Not a bad result to work towards to!

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If you would like to receive this reading for yourself to guide and signpost your year 2019, click here to buy - delivered in 24 hours to your inbox.

Follow your Star to a happier life. Star, Shadowscapes Tarot

The risks of being a pro tarot reader

This post may help, if you are considering setting up your own business semi- or fully professionally (meaning more or less full time and with intentions of making it a career). Instead of discussing potential pitfalls about running a small business in general - as those considerations are needed also -, I'll talk about what I've experienced about reading for money for strangers.

Firstly, I've personally never found that people are difficult about payments. I display my prices on my website and people who feel it's a fair price will contact me, whereas those who don't, won't. I offer the first reading free, which gives everybody the chance to check whether my reading style is for them and whether paying for another reading feels like a good idea.

At the moment, reading cards is nowhere near a proper source of income for me, it's more of a hobby and I work full-time elsewhere. So, someone could ask why I just don't do free readings. Because I'd be flooded with them. It's also a matter of fairness and principle. I'm happy to donate some of my offerings (the first free reading), but I also feel that everybody who knows their craft should be compensated for it.

For a couple of years now, I've only done readings to other people via email. When I first started in 2013/14, I also offered readings at home, face-to-face, but I in the long run, I didn't feel comfortable with that. I advertised locally and realised I have no control over who picks my ad and who wants/decides to become my client.

Most of my customers were completely normal people with normal problems relating to love, housing situation or work and money, but I got a few 'oddballs' with whom I did not feel comfortable. I wasn't 100% sure whether it was just their persistent/insistent/borderline obsessive method of asking questions and wanting to book more and more readings (usually about the same topic), or did I perhaps pick some vibes about not-completely-honest intentions.

For example, one client came to my home for his reading and even as I pointed to the guest room / tarot room, he marched through my apartment and opened doors to check every room, explaining he was looking for a toilet. My husband was at home at the time and said afterwards he didn't like how strangers snoop our place, and I didn't feel particularly happy about that either. Furthermore, I started getting plenty of scammer calls from 'the tax office', as my phone number had now gone viral from the local classifieds site. It seemed like dodgy people in my community and elsewhere deemed tarot readers as scammers and hence, as a 'worthy' target of their own scams. Not nice.

So, I stopped doing in-person readings to strangers and advertising elsewhere but on my own website.

However, doing readings online and in person are two quite different skill sets. Online readings you can deliver whenever you feel like (of course within the time frame agreed with the client). In-person readings must happen when it suits the customer (although there's some discretion in you allotting time slots).

Online you never need to engage in any social niceties and gauging the other person's mood, triggers etc to not accidentally offend; and you 'only' need to have a bit of story telling skills to create a meaningful story of the symbolism of the cards - I don't mean 'making up' stuff, but skills to coherently explain what separate cards mean in that particular situation. You have time to read your lines through, edit and tweak. Whereas in person, it's a lot about thinking on your feet and coming up with things to say pretty much instantly even when the cards look bad, don't promise at all what the client is seeking or are incomprehensible to you.

I got a reminder of how different skills we are talking about, when I did a face-to-face reading to three close friends at once this weekend. They asked their own questions and received their own readings, but all were watching as I interpreted the cards and occasionally, made their own comments, questions and remarks of each others' cards. I did not feel challenged or questioned in a negative sense, but it does take quick wits to keep everyone's questions and comments in mind, yet deliver what I see in the cards in a manner that's comprehensible and reasonably tangible. Doing a reading in person is also mentally and physically draining and afterwards, you may feel like disappearing to recharge.

I prefer to give concrete examples of the card meanings, because I find wishy-washy or overtly spiritual readings can cause confusion and anxiety.  In my view it's better to give an example that's not entirely accurate than give a reading that is so ambiguous that the client can't get a handle of it, or can interpret it in any way they like (usually wrong or wish-fulfilling).

This is not to try to discourage anyone, just to give food for thought for what's your own reading style, what preferences or aversions you'd have as a pro reader and whether you like social interaction or thinking through the cards in peace and quiet, then typing the meanings. Best of luck!

Also, it's my birthday soon so here's a simple birthday spread to try - six cards for two-month blocks.

Birthday spread

How is my next year looking like; what will be the overall major themes? Starts from your birth month. An example spread done for myself with the Fool's Dog tarot app.

April - May - 4 Pentacles Rx

In the card, a grumpy-looking old fairy fella is arguing over a nut with a squirrel. He wants to keep what's his and is very worried about losing his possession. The card came out reversed, in my view meaning he should let go of the nut. Releasing or giving away something seems to be the prevalent theme. Possibly I'll feel like others are trying to take away my resources, when in reality I can never run out - there's always more in the world to find, make, earn. This actually relates directly to my current job, where I constantly feel I'm asked for more than I can give.

June - July - 9 Swords Rx

Worrying seems to continue. I already know that in June-July, I'll receive work-related news as my current deployment will end in June and I'm supposed to be transferred to a new place from the beginning of July, but this is all quite hazy and undecided at the moment. I hope the reversed card means the end of worrying, finding clarity about my future or at least realise there's no point in being so concerned over matters I have limited power to affect. I should go with the flow, accept what comes and make the best of it, or find a way to change circumstances that cause me anxiety.

August - September - 7 Cups

It seems I'll be quite lost in the fantasy land in Aug-Sept. It could be a good sign, as I'm also an aspiring fiction writer and one of my genres is young adult historical fantasy. I hope this card means I'll feel imaginative, immersed in the land of fantasy, and deliver some awesome fiction! It could also mean I'll be lost in my daydreams. It's always good to have some wishes and dreams in your life, but it's not always helpful if real-life solutions for something are required.

October - November - Hierophant

This can be very literally about teaching, learning and teachers. I'm about to finish a degree at the end of the year and in Oct-Nov I'll probably sweat my a** off to finalise a thesis to satisfy my professors! I'm also hoping to start an academic career in 2019 so I could be scoping for universities.

December - January - High Priestess

Listen to your intuition, calm down, be still and quiet, find the answers from within. This is the classic message of the High Priestess and probably a good reminder for anytime. Maybe towards the end of the year I'll have a lot of questions about my new year and the future in general and the best direction comes from the subconscious.

February - March - Temperance Rx

Things seem to tip over in some way, approaching to my birthday in 2019. Temperance is a card of mix and balance, in particular of things that are inherently incompatible but need to come together for the greater good. It seems I'll have a challenge with balancing something, or pushing too hard with some matters instead of seeking a sustainable compromise. Will need to keep an eye on that!

The birthday spread

Happy, fearless New Year!

It sounds to me quite a few people had a hectic, hard or draining year 2017, same applies to me. I drifted out of tarot, somehow just did not feel interested. Funnily enough, at the same time a weird, round dry patch the size of a coin appeared in my forehead at the spot of the third eye. As if my body was saying "you're drying up your ability to see deeper". I don't know if that was the real message - or if there was a message, not just a coincidence - but it did get me thinking.

As the longer-term readers of this blog know, I hover at the border of science and spirituality and sometimes feel more inclined to rely on science 100%, sometimes feel like there's deeper layers behind what we currently know. For example, I just read a hugely captivating book by Harvard University astrophysicist Lisa Randall, who specialises in dark matter and dark energy. The current calculations show that of our universe, only 5% is visible matter. The rest is dark matter or rather, undetectable matter (not the same as black holes, which are incredibly-tightly condensed ordinary matter) and dark energy, or undetectable energy potential.

Dr Randall talks about "matter-racism", meaning that it's quite condescending from us humans to assume we even should be able to detect and measure everything. Why should us, a random species on a random planet, have developed such incredibly apt or multidimensional senses and intelligence that we could have access to every possible particle type and interaction that takes place in the virtually boundless universe?

Anyhow, got carried away, that's not my topic! Given it's the New Year's eve, many of us are probably thinking about New Year resolutions. Resolution implies change, something that we wish to do differently, leave behind or start doing. And what is normally on the way of change? Fear. If change was easy, we probably wouldn't even call it change, it would just be a normal course of the everyday.

Fear is something I've been thinking a lot lately. Not on a personal level as much, but at the society's level. Politicians in particular in the US seem to be exploiting and cultivating fear for political gain and that, in my opinion, is the low blow for the human intelligence (not to mention ethics). Eliciting fear is easy, because we naturally want to avoid danger. And, unfortunately, many leaders exploit this natural response.

The unknown, uncertain, new or different can easily elicit a fearful response. What I think is a true measure of maturity is our ability to recognise and handle fear. Any three-year-old can be scared; it's instinctive. But it takes a mature, level-headed person to be able to say "calm down, let's take a proper look at this. Things are not that bad. Maybe we just misunderstood, or can change things so they are less scary?"

When is fear needed and when it's not? In some situations, fear is handy. It's better to be cautious when attempting something risky, such as crossing a dodgy bridge somewhere high up in the mountains. But, even then, is fear really keeping us safe? A spoonful or sprinkle of fear can be a good thing, but fear can also paralyse. In particular when it comes to a life change. Better the devil you know, they say, but are wrong.

Why would it be better to stick with something undesirable, unsatisfactory or even downright unhealthy just because the unknown devil can also be bad? If it turns out to be, then, a new change is required, until things are better. Life by definition is a series of events where an organism attempts to adapt to and thrive in its circumstances. If that does not happen, there's no life. We only have inorganic matter: dead weight.

Here's a New Year's spread to study fear, what to let go and how to let go. 

As a "worked example" with my own responses.

1. What unfounded fear do I have? KNIGHT OF DISKS (PENTACLES)

I fear being stuck in a rut, having to repeat the same things every day. Slow and steady in my mind often means slow and tedious. That is very true and that is perhaps my worst fear. Even this blog is themed Tarot for Change, because I often value change higher than routine, newness over continuity.

2. How can I best let go of that fear? SEVEN OF SWORDS

This is an unexpected answer. Many people interpret 7 Swords as a card of underhanded moves and manipulation, as it depicts a person stealing swords from others. However, I've learned that for me this card often means "research", finding and taking others' ideas (swords) for my own purposes. To overcome the fear of the rut I should exercise my mind, learn more about techniques to tolerate routine and perhaps spice up the everyday with unexpected moves.

3. What will change in  my life if I overcome the fear? THREE OF CUPS

I'll find new or old friends to connect with. 3 Cups is a card of get-togethers, friendship, celebration and connection with like-minded people. Well, that's an absolutely positive outcome!

4. How can I live more fearlessly overall? ACE OF STONES (PENTACLES)

This card shows a boulder and the card's traditional meaning is tangible, physical opportunities and gifts. I think it reminds me to be grounded. There's no need to let fears run havoc. Just stay down-to-earth, take each day as it comes, enjoy the physicality. Fear is, after all, preservation instinct running overdrive: we are only frightened when we fear - consciously or subconsciously - pain or death. But, being a physical creature also has benefits and joys, not only fears about potential harms and risks.

5. How can I help others overcome their fears? THREE OF WANDS

This card traditionally shows a person gazing at the sea, to the approaching ships. It means planning, looking towards the future, having taken the first steps towards something bigger and better. I can help others by reminding them about the potential for expansion: when life is not bound and constricted by fears, it can be larger, bolder, louder, fresher; what we choose to make of it.

Have a fun and fearless New Year and a fortunate year 2018!

How to deal with other people's difficult issues?

As this blog suggests, I spend a lot of time thinking about happiness. It's my research topic from the angle: how does the environment affect people's happiness (or well-being, quality of life), positively and negatively? Even though I study the built and natural environment, I also think about the social environment, meaning other people.

I believe one of the major life lessons for everyone is to find the right balance between independence and interdependence. How to be our own persons, standing on our own feet, but not push others away in the process? How to ask, receive and give help without becoming clingy, interfering or irritating? How to build our own life, yet be inclusive to others? How to know where the boundaries lie?

Why is this important - or, as I think, one of the most important lessons in life? Because whether we find that balance or not, has a direct and immediate impact on happiness: our own and others.

I used to stress a lot about other people's problems. If a family member was struggling with something (a health problem, an unrewarding job, relationship issues), I'd spend days and nights trying to come up with a solution to help them become happier - or, at least, less unhappy.

Often, that was a source of mutual, accumulating frustration. I would get upset that my family member wouldn't take my advice, and I saw that as obstinate, pessimistic or lackadaisical. Whereas the person I tried to help probably saw me as interfering, overbearing or bossy. I only realised a few years ago that I can't possibly solve everyone's issues and people are, at times, unhappy. The only one who can resolve the unhappiness is the unhappy person themselves.

Not everyone is ready to do it, for myriads of reasons: not everyone sees what's the real source of their unhappiness; they don't want to face the truth; they assume/hope things will improve due to the hoped actions of other people/fortune; they don't believe (yet) that things even could change; or they're worn out by their problems and can't solve it just now.

What helped me realise I can't carry the burden of others' issues was twofold:

• I believe everyone has their own life lessons to learn and if somebody else's lessons relate to overcoming obstacles or experiencing unhappiness, stuckness, apathy, etc. so be it; and
• other people are not my extension and vice versa. 

What decisions my loved ones make, is not actually up to me to change. Of course, self-destructive behaviour and unhealthy decisions need to be raised and if possible, stopped. But, at the end, there's only so much outsiders can do to stop an adult from making (good or bad) decisions and living an unhappy life - other than politely offer support and conversation company.

An example. I feel that some family members are overeating, overdrinking, taking unnecessary risks or overly engaged in a conservative religious mindset (the former and the latter relatives are not the same, btw ;) ). I used to stress about those to no end. What could I do to change things? How could I help/force them to see that they are harming themselves by either creating health issues, or by creating social division and discord with their loud views?

The answer: I can't do much. I can only point it out politely and diplomatically, but I can't make anyone change. Change must come from each of us within. If these people don't see a problem in their lifestyle even after repeated discussions, then the only thing I can do is to learn live with it. Change myself, if possible, or disengage, if needed.

However, herein lies the problem: we can't force anyone to change, but I think it's our responsibility to offer a sounding board or a mirror to other people - and expect / allow others offer that to us. How could the people around us ever know we disapprove, if we don't tell it (politely and with a reasoned justification)?

I've also been guilty - and still am - for not raising issues, because I don't want to offend or cause a conflict. But withdrawal actually steals a chance from both parties to learn, grow, change for better.

Here's a spread to examine,

how to more fruitfully deal with someone else's issue?

1. What's the best way to raise the matter with the other?
2. What response can I expect, if I raise it?
3. How to best deal with the response?
4. What sort of a plan I could propose to move forward?
5. What will happen, if I don't raise it?
6. How can I offer better support?
7. How does the other person feel about his/her issue?

We are all different, yet we should be able to live peacefully side by side. Not an easy task!

How to be happier in the everyday?

Apologies for being MIA since October! I've been catching up with studies, work, hobbies and social life and also experiencing a bit of a writer's block with this blog. What to write about? The internet is full of clever, informative and inspirational blogs, including tarot themed, and I've felt there's not much I can add to the discussion. But then, I remembered the words of a song that translate like this:

"everything that can be done has been done, everything that can be seen has been seen,

everything that can be touched has been touched by many hands,

but not with your hands, not with your eyes,

not with your soul before you've tried it all yourself."

CMX

I like the message about: nothing's completely original, but every one of us has something new to offer, because we are all unique with our unique histories and experiences.

What is happiness?

I spend a lot of time thinking about happiness. Not just my own personal happiness, and how to stay happy, but other people's happiness and the concept of happiness in general. My PhD studies focus on the quality of life, everyday happiness and mindfulness. In particular, I'm interested in the connection of beauty and happiness: can beautiful things, surroundings and experiences make people happier? Or can the lack of beauty make people unhappy?

I'm not talking about make-up, clothes etc. (even thought they are one part of the idea, depending on what's everyone's personal preference in beauty), but noticing beauty around in the world, in the everyday.

This is a branch of philosophy called everyday aesthetics. Mindfulness, a trendy concept, draws from everyday aesthetics in my opinion. Mindfulness simply means: be aware of every moment, stay focused on the now instead of drifting to the future or past, worries, regrets or anticipations.

Being mindful can mean enjoying your cup of coffee in peace, tasting every sip. The key concept in everyday aesthetics is similar: pause, enjoy and appreciate what you have around, what your senses capture. The sun dancing on the pot plant's leaves. The aroma and scent of morning coffee. The calming, rhythmic beat of the dishwasher. The vibrant colours of the fruit in a bowl. The shine and softness of your pet's fur.

I started practising tarot and "fortunetelling", because it was an intriguing concept and I wanted to know if it even can work.

I've come to a conclusion after five years of card-reading that yes it does seem to work, and even better it works for self-development and self-reflection. Tarot is an excellent tool to examine your own deep thoughts, emotions, motives, dreams, fears... every aspect of one's personality. I've grown much calmer, mature and dare I say wiser by using tarot regularly. And funnily enough, also more mindful, to stay in the present, noticing the beauty of the everyday.

Here's my spread to realise one's blessings:

1. What is the best thing I have in my life right now?
2. What do I have I take for granted?
3. What should I discard from my life?
4. What in life inspires me?
5. Where or how to find that inspiration?

Below: some things that make me happy - beautiful places and sights from my hoods, equally nice to enjoy with loved ones or alone. 

How to treat the risk of failure

One of my almost-daily routines is hanging out at Aeclectic Tarot Forum, which is an online discussion board for anyone interested in tarot and wanting to practice their reading skills and intuition in general.

I have shifted from other social media to AT, because in the tarot community, the focus is on self-improvement and helping others, whereas Facebook and other platforms are nowadays flooded with bad news, disrespectful language, trolling and other negative traits this species of ours can exhibit.
The more time I spend on Facebook, the more agitated and annoyed I get, whereas with AT, the more benevolent and refreshed I feel - it's funny what a big difference the language, attitude and ambience of a forum can make.

Because AT is anonymous, people discuss their issues openly. One of the common underlying currents of discussions is "I want to do thing X, but my family/friends/social circles oppose/ridicule/don't approve it". No person is an island and whatever people around us say and think, affects us. positively or negatively. But. How can we ever achieve anything in life, if we put too much emphasis on other people's opinions?

For instance, I want to be a novelist one day. I have supportive and encouraging people around, but also those who don't think I can make it. It is possible I can't. But it's also possible I can. And the only way to find out is to give it a proper try - do my best to become what I want to be, even when it comes with the risk of failure.

People around us often think they know better, see the risks better, are more realistic than us or otherwise just have more authority to tell how to live our lives. But is that really true?

It's actually just a perception. The louder or more convincing these critics are, the more credible they sound. However, being loud or sounding confident don't make anyone right. And nobody else but you can know, whether something is good or right or doable for you.

But here's the trick. You need to believe in yourself to make it work - whether this is a new job, relationship, studies or business. Critics around can take that self-confidence away, thus spiralling you to a failure and creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. I told you so! When in fact, if they had not told you so, you wouldn't have failed. Tricky, isn't it?

My motto in life is:

nothing ventured, nothing gained. 

This (perhaps foolishly?) bold and straightforward attitude could be best described by wands tarot cards, i.e. those that depict willpower, inner fire, drive, motivation and wants. However, I think it's best captured by the slow and even dull-looking
7 Pentacles.

The traditional 7 Pentacles of Rider Waite Smith deck shows a farmer assessing his crop. Only one ripe pentacle has dropped, the rest might still fail or succeed. The only thing to do is to keep trying and hope for the best.

Tarot of the Pagan Cats shows a different side of 7 Pentacles - curiosity and play. Any dream, project or plan in life starts with curiosity (could it work? what if it worked?)  and at best, is fuelled by play: fun, exploration, creativity, excitement. Even if the dream fails after all, experiencing those elements on the way make it worth trying.

Every farmer knows that the crop might wither and die. No matter how much you've watered, tended and cared for it, it could still fail. But then again, there could be a huge reward, a bounty, a successful harvest. The only way to know is to try - not just half-heartedly, but giving it the best you've got.

I value tarot as a tool because looking at the cards and pondering them peels off layers in our thinking that are plastered in there by other people.

Looking at the pictures analytically or semi-meditatively should reveal what your real thoughts and feelings about any given matter are, free and pure from others' influence. How could I best make this project work? What are my strengths? What are my weaknesses? What could I do to strengthen the strengths and weed off the weaknesses? How to best go about with this dream of mine?

These are all empowering questions that help you forward, instead of dwelling on "I really want to do it and I think I could, but everyone says it's not wise/easy/possible/for me." Well, everyone can say that the sun will be blue tomorrow, but it doesn't make it true, does it?

Here's a spread to explore a plan or dream you're unsure about. Pull 1-3 cards for each question, depending on your preferences and reading skills.

New plan or dream - analysis spread

1. What do I believe this plan/dream will give me if it works?
2. What is the real reason I hesitate achieving it?
3. How can I overcome my hesitation?
4. What skills I have that will most help me with achieving this?
5. What in my life or thinking is hindering me from achieving this?
6. What will my life be like when I have achieved this?
7. How to best start moving towards this goal?
8. How to encourage myself to keep going until I reach my goal?

Who am I? - reading

Hello all again, greetings from Europe and Egypt. For the first time in 15 years, I had a chance to take a break longer than a month and boy did I enjoy it! Anyhow, let's move on straight to today's spread that I devised. It's about exploring yourself.

Me, myself and I

What is my core personality like? QUEEN OF CUPS. 

This Queen lives in the world of emotions, positive and negative. Everything in life is experienced through emotions first and foremost, not through logic and analysis, for example. Emotions can sometimes take over and be difficult to control. This Queen spends her time in experiencing and exploring different 'vibrations', living every day in the heart rather than in the head. Intuitive and introvert rather than logical and extrovert.

What makes me happiest in life? 6 SWORDS Rev. 

6 Swords upright is a card of leaving worries and turbulent thoughts behind, but reversed, it doesn't simply mean "arrival of worries". Rather I read it to mean - arrival of thoughts. I do love learning, reading, conversing... all methods of finding new information and things to ponder. This could also mean "ditching worries", the thoughts (swords) are not in the boat at all but are tipped over and vanish for good.

What strength do I have I take for granted? MAGICIAN.

The Magician is someone who can turn thoughts, plans and ideas into reality - can make things happen. The Magician does not only dream of new things or new directions, s/he brings them forward and makes them reality. Some people read the Magician as a con artists, but I don't believe in that interpretation as a sweeping generalisation. Sometimes the Magician can be a negative card, but the core meaning for me is: someone who can manifest their will in the world and take action to follow through.

What unhelpful personality trait or aspect I have successfully left behind? MOON Rev.

The Moon usually points to fears and illusions, things being hazy and unclear, coloured by our own imagination and instinctive, even primal fears. For years, I used to suffer from "existential panic attacks", fear of death in other words. Eventually, with a lot of help from tarot, I "grew out" of it, I don't delve in the otherworld (or the end of life) that excessively. The easing of the fear of death has also eased other fears - after all, excessive fear of death is survival instinct gone mad and that overdrive or agitation triggers all sorts of other fears too.

What is my most beneficial personality trait from others' perspective? 8 CUPS.

I don't hold grudge or regrets, I move on. 8 Cups is a card of leaving an emotionally draining or negative situation behind for good, going on a quest to seek for new fulfilment. There's no delving in negativity or memories, there's straightforward action of putting a stop to it and moving on.

What is my most beneficial personality trait for myself? WORLD.

The will and keenness to learn, to complete, to become the best possible version of myself. The World is a card of achievements, completion, lessons learned, things coming together to form a whole book instead of individual chapters or sentences. It is not so much about ambition but the will to do and know what there is to do and know, to elevate oneself to the next level of understanding and experiences.

Who am I growing to be (what direction is my personality evolving)? 9 SWORDS

9 Swords is a card of excessive worrying, losing sleep over troubles or issues that, in fact, are not that serious after all. This is a card I don't really recognise in this position. Yes, I occasionally worry about all sorts of matters in life and love, but I don't think it's taking over other personality traits. This card often pops up for me, though, in situations where the answer is "duh, you know it, don't ask." It's like tarot's "quit being helpless, will ya?". My deck seems as blunt as I am :D

I feel I'm evolving and maturing in general so I sort of knew the answer and indeed, I got a clarifying card the Strength: the card of zen, control of emotions and impulses with willpower.

What should I do more to support my growth? 2 PENTACLES.

2 Pentacles is a card of a balancing act, juggling two things that are of equal importance. It can talk about two people, or it can mean work/life balance, or other matters that require equal focus. For me this card has a personal meaning and it talks about my professional career and my "side career" of a range of creative undertakings, including this blog and tarot services: live both sides of life to the fullest with equal attention and no neglect.

What should I stop doing to support my growth? QUEEN OF SWORDS.

This Queen is analytical, clear-headed, straightforward and honest to the point of being blunt. This Queen lives her life through head and analysis: no stone is left unturned, no emotion unanalysed, no motifs, words or actions without scrutiny. I usually identify with this Queen because she's not just an analyser and thinker, she's also a communicator, observer of life and love. However, recently I've been slipping on the side of overanalysing (other people's words and actions and my own feelings regarding those) so it's not healthy to get stuck  in one's own head.

General advise for a better life? 7 WANDS.

Stand your ground, be brave in what you believe in, protect and defend what you hold valuable. 7 Wands is the card of valiant action, standing one's ground even when others are against it, or defending a cause that is under attack. Or, going on with one's plans when others don't support them. One of the most difficult things in life is to find your own standing, to trust your own view when others criticise or attack it, openly or subtly. I think we are all here learning to do exactly this: not to bend under pressure but make our own judgements about what is good and bad, right and wrong, worth stepping up.

I hope this spreads provides insights for self exploration and growth!

Happy light midsummer for the Northern Hemisphere readers!

Opening of the Key - inspired self-analysis

I got a great tip from another reader to try a large spread called "the opening of the key". It was developed by the Golden Dawn, an esoteric organisation founded in 1888 and which still today is often called one of the cornerstones of the modern Western Mysticism. The original Golden Dawn branched into different fractions due to internal conflicts, but sprouts of this organisation still exist today.

The full spread would take a number of structured steps and understanding Kabbalah and astrology, so I only stuck with the first stage and diverted from there with my own rules. The original spread also uses a significator (a card that is chosen to represent the seeker; the person who is receiving the reading).

I'm not personally hugely interested in the origins or specifics of esoteric tarot teachings and I'm only superficially familiar with tarot's history. My own interests lie in the everyday functionality of any tarot deck. To me tarot cards are art that can be interpreted through knowing the meanings of the symbols and via one's own intuition and deduction skills (what's happening in the picture). My own reading style is a combination of structure and "organic" intuition, i.e. I do rely on the traditional meanings of the cards but I rather "intuit" the message rather than use any rigid reading system.

However, this simplified spread, which is similar to the first stage of the Opening of the Key, proved to be a mind-opening experience.

Many little nagging issues I haven't been able to accurately pinpoint in my own emotional make-up and psyche were solved in this reading. It uses the whole deck of 78 cards and even this simplified version is fairly complicated for a beginner due to the huge number of cards and lack of positions. If you're already reasonably comfortable with understanding your cards, I strongly recommend trying this.

Alternatively, you can try a "beginner's" version, which I explain later, or hopefully find a skilled tarot reader who could do this spread for you. It really can be an ultimate A-HA! trigger.

This is how I did it - I've bent and abandoned almost all of the original rules, but this is what made sense to me:

The Opening of the Key - inspired spread

or, what is really going on in your life

Shuffle the deck and divide it into four equal-sized piles: divide the deck into two halves at first, and then again, into two halves to end up with four piles next to each other. There are rules how to position these piles but I split the first pile into two, put the upper half on the left and the lower half on the right, and then did the same with both halves.

Now you have four piles to show your air, fire, cups and earth aspects - with plain English, meaning your mental life, your current motivation or energy, your emotional life and your material life, encompassing everything tangible such as your body, finances, work/career and possessions.

Turn over the first pile and fan it out to see what's in there. I organised the cards into groups of four at first, in the order they appeared from left to right. Now look at the whole layout and pick the overall tone. What themes came up? What suits you have the most - Swords (air), Wands (fire), Cups (water) or Pentacles (earth)? How about Major Arcana cards? What life lessons or major themes do the Major Arcana cards show within your mental sphere?

Then, read the cards in groups and finally, as a whole. I understood that my deepest happiness (Ace of Cups and the Sun) come from the possibility to be mentally independent, free, creative and resourceful (Ace of Swords, 9 Pentacles, the Empress) and lead the way; i.e. be influential, clear and trusted in intelligence and knowledge (King of Swords).

The Major Arcana and the rest of the cards told me that I'm currently learning a lesson that I can always study and learn more, and think and find my own truth, no matter what's the external situation and I should stop worrying (Hermit, Hanged Man, 6 Swords etc.). The lesson is that I should never be staring at and blaming for the externalities, when the power to be happy is inside me - my happiness comes from the thirst for knowledge, wisdom and communication.

Lastly, count the cards of each suit to see how they are weighing. I got six Major Arcana, six Swords cards, three Pentacles cards and two cards in Cups and Wands each. This tells that my mental life is very much governed by abstract thoughts, rationalism, analysing, thinking in general, instead of my thoughts being guided by emotions, material concerns etc.

Repeat this procedure of interpretation with each pile.

For Wands (drive, motivation, inner fire, vitality) I got cards telling that I'm very much motivated by material and pragmatic things right now (King and Queen of Pentacles, 3 Pentacles etc.). I want to make a tangible difference in the world together with others, not just think and talk. For example, starting this tarot blog and business is a great motivator for me, because the more blog visitors or tarot clients I get, the more it indicates my vision, ideas and inspiration are being sought after and valued.

This pile of cards also brought up something I've thought a lot lately. Like the majority of people in today's capitalistic world, I used to equate financial success with success in general, whereas I've now realised making money does not necessarily equate mental, emotional or social success.

You can feel empty and useless even if you make a lot of money, and reversely, if you don't earn a penny with what you love, it can still give you the strongest sense of purpose, direction and energy. 

Money can, of course, be one indicator of success, but it most definitely is not the only one and possibly not even the best one. Think wars, drugs, exploiting the nature... they are all money-making machines, but what good they bring to the world? Making money out passion is the ultimate dream, but believing that only money is a measure of success and worth, is simply wrong: that's a pathway to misery, emptiness and purposelessness.

For the Cups and Pentacles piles, I found that I'm in a very balanced and happy position in life emotionally and materially - which was clear without the cards, too, but it's always nice to get affirmation!

Interestingly and encouragingly, the largest number of life lesson cards (Major Arcana) came up in the Pentacles pile and they showed an ending and a beginning of a cycle in life (the World, the Fool), as well as a lot of passion, creativity, communication, studying and learning coming up (Queen of Wands, 8 Wands, Page of Pentacles, Page of Swords) and an overall flair of a big, exciting change being on its way. I'm curious to see what will show up in my life!

If you would like to try this method but feel it's too large, try pulling only one (or up to three) cards for each sector of life: mind, inner drive/motivation, emotions and body/money/career. These questions can help:

What is going on within myself?

Air - what is currently in my mind a lot? 
Wands - what motivates me right now, how does my overall energy level look?
Cups - what am I currently feeling, what is topical emotionally for me right now?
Pentacles - how is my physical wellbeing; what is the most topical thing in my money/career situation?

Interpretation in process, the last pile (Pentacles). I divided the cards into groups of four in the order they were spread out from the fan, but later on I grouped them based on suits and Major Arcana to see the "weight" each suit has in this area of life. My motivation is largely driven by material, tangible matters and vice versa; my material/financial matters are largely driven by what motivates me - I want to work on what inspires me. Hardly a surprise there!

A snapshot from my "tarot parlour". A lovely Tarot Tutoring client gave me this beautiful moon phase calendar as a present - I love it!

Embrace the change

Change is at the same time the most natural and the most difficult thing in life.

Life is in constant flow and cannot stay the same, but then again, change is often scary, hazy and unwanted. If everything's fine now, why change? And if everything is not fine, why the change is not already coming, no matter how much we've hoped and wished for it?

I'm probably from the more change-oriented side than most people, because I'm so curious and always ready for experiencing new things in life. However, lately I've felt for the first time that change can also be scary - so scary that it paralyses and prevents action.

My life is 90% frigging great now, as I have almost everything I could have dreamed of. I'm married to my soul mate, I have a beautiful new home, steady job, enough income, established social circles, activities that make me feel that I'm living my purpose (tarot, volunteering etc.).

Given that everything's so well, I've got 10 Pentacles a lot lately - the card of permanence, structures in life, home and family, wealth, everything being as steady and complete as possible. But, this is also the card of comfort zone and complacency. And with having a lot comes the fear of losing a lot.

I've repeated like a parrot that the only area in my life I'm not entirely happy with is my job. It's a great steady position but it offers zero percent of inspiration or creativity. I understand I'm not the only person who's dissatisfied with a seemingly OK role and I don't want to come across ungrateful because I'm definitely trying to see the positives (even though tarot does remind me of that, too, by offering 4 Cups a lot - the card of complacency, ingratitude, boredom, not seeing the blessings in front of my nose).

Where these two cards tie together is the fear of change. 10 Pentacles is completion and 4 Cups is about not being happy with what one has, but still being unable to break the rut - maybe there's laziness,lack of effort, ideas and direction. But both cards talk about stalling.

Ideally I'd find a job that better suits my personality and still offers the same benefits as my current role, but herein lies the catch: what if any other role doesn't come with as good perks? What if I hop off from the ice bucket to boiling water and regret it, with no possibility to backtrack? So, I am my own worst enemy in achieving this goal.

I do a yearly draw around every New Year to see what's coming up and for this year I got cards Ace of Swords, 8 Wands and 8 Cups. They say:

This year I'll see things clearly and will have an excellent plan to execute. I'll see and speak the truth. The year will be filled with fast-paced action, change and communication. I'll be exchanging messages back and forth and "feeling the wind in my hair", it's so thrilling and fast. But, I'll also grow tired with something: I'll acknowledge things didn't go where I wanted them to go and I'm simply not satisfied enough to keep what I have. I must walk away to seek satisfaction from someplace else.

8 Cups has been stalking me since this draw and I've thought it relates to my job. However, with tarot, cards have a tendency to keep popping up if the message is not delivered or no action is taken. I've been confused why I still get this card, when I've identified my job as the "lack of fulfilment" area and I've tried my best to seek fulfilment, by focusing on all the positives and mainly concentrating on topics that matter, such as this blog and my studies.

I found an excellent spread called EMBRACE THE CHANGE from the Daily Tarot Girl blog and because my life is clearly in transition (8 Cups is about seeking for more or something else), I thought I better embrace it to aid myself. I changed the card positions slightly to be more intuitive:

---5---

3-1-4

---2---

1 - Action to ease transition (what to do)
2 - Support (person or energy that helps)
3 - What's being left behind
4 - What you will gain from this change
5 - Higher guidance / advice

Embrace the Change - reading

1 - Action to ease transition (what to do) - 5 WANDS
Try to remember not to take life too seriously, it can be light-hearted fun, a competition and a game. Also, if you want to get to a new place in life and in particular, get a new job, it takes effort and competition. It can't be avoided and there's no point in shying away from this moment of frustrations and trying to win, to come out on top.

2 - Support (person or energy that helps) - TEMPERANCE
You have learned by now to combine and balance, mix and compromise in life. Use that skill. Seek for balance in all areas of life.

I've been a very one-sided person before and this ongoing job situation has definitely helped/forced me to seek balance and be patient. I used to have zero patience with long-term projects or issues, I'd give it a quick go and then abandon it in frustration or out of lack of interest. So growth as a person has definitely happened, thanks to the boring job.

3 - What's being left behind - EMPEROR
Emperor talks about leading my life solely relying on the logical, rational, "masculine" side of the brain. I can see based on this card that the change heralded by the 8 Cups is not just about my job or external situation, it's about a major shift in thinking: my world view and values.

A few years ago, I was still very much a science-believer and wouldn't account anything spiritual, paranormal, metaphysical etc. I've always been artistic but saw that as "nice to have" skill instead of something more - because it's so difficult to earn a living as an artist. I had pretty much been indoctrinated by the modern society, politicians and the economists to believe that what has monetary value is what matters, and what has to do with emotions, intuition, kindness, "soft skills", is additional extra but not as important because you can't export it to earn money.

Duh, what an unbalanced way to think and live! One side can't work without the other and I've gone through a crash course to learn to appreciate "feminine" traits and values, such as intuition and creativity.

4 - What you will gain from this change - 8 CUPS.
Here's my stalker again. Interestingly, it came up as a positive (what I'll gain) and I also got this in a position of family and friends in another spread yesterday, so now I finally understand the message.

I've been emotionally unsatisfied with my social circles, because I mainly work and socialise with people who are quite different from me personality-wise. Most are not very interested in deeper questions in life and that's what's lacking. I need a quest to find my tribe, people whose thinking and values resonate better with  me. Not that I'd abandon my current friends, but there's always room for more, isn't there!

5 - Higher guidance / advice - STAR
Star means guidance, positive take, optimism and direction and I generally read it to mean: you're following your higher guidance, you're on the right path. So this card in this position is a double whammy - yes, what you're leaving behind what you're gaining is a beneficial change you need to make to fulfil your destiny; to be the best version of yourself.

Embrace the Change, done with Buckland Romani Tarot.

How to solve an argument with tarot

In my view, tarot is most useful for self-development, because pulling cards for oneself and pondering the message – and then taking action to do whatever needs to be done – is a direct improvement or problem solving opportunity. 

But, we don't live in a vacuum, and nor are we islands. We all interact with other people every day and the majority our problems are not caused by only us, but they are caused, triggered, related to or made worse by others. How to use tarot to solve a curly situation with someone else?

Firstly, there are at least two schools in tarot about reading about other people’s thoughts and emotions. Some people think that we should never ask how someone else feels or thinks, because it’s prying and morally wrong. 

I’m with the opposite school. I think that we as people are always trying to figure what the other people are up to – either directly by asking or indirectly by trying to deduct or guess based on our own experience and earlier encounters with the said person – so it’s impossible to live a human life without trying to understand other people. 

If cards can help us to understand others better and build bridges between people, then I think it’s justified to try and use tarot to figure what's going on in someone else's head and heart. 

What absolutely needs to be remembered when trying to pick someone’s else’s feelings and thoughts with tarot is that:

a) if tarot is “supernatural” and really can pick someone’s thoughts, then it is more direct spying than guessing: “spying” comes with a moral obligation to not use the knowledge against the person; and

b) never trust the cards blindly.

It’s still possible that your take on the card is not correct, or it shows just a tiny snapshot of the person’s inner workings, or the situation changes rapidly and the person doesn’t think that way in the long run (life is fluid and ever-changing anyway), or your interpretation of the emotion is wrong (say: you see someone’s sad, think it’s because they deeply miss you, whereas they’re sad due to self-pity about losing the fight with you).

So, what could you ask to help navigate a difficult situation?

How to solve an argument - spread

This exercise spread is for me and a relative: we don’t see eye to eye. My relative is sure that certain conspiracy theories are true, whereas I think they are nonsense. Consequently, we end up ruining happy family gatherings by arguing about this.

What is the real core of the issue (the bone to pick)? 2 SWORDS

Indecision and lack of clarity, but also two minds going to completely different directions. My truth simply is different to her truth, and they do not align or combine well. World is not black and white and everything can be seen from different angles - I guess I better remember this and acknowledge that neither of us has all of the facts nor absolute clarity about how things really are.

How do I see this issue? ACE OF PENTACLES

I think it’s mainly about money and greed: these conspiracy theories (e.g. climate change is a hoax) are motivated by the need to earn more and more (big oil and gas businesses wanting to secure profit). It’s also about focusing only on the material world at the expense of any other, including spiritual or scientific take: if you only focus on what you can directly experience with your senses, you’ll miss a lot of data about the world - such as is there more air pollutants or not in the atmosphere? If you can’t see them, it doesn’t mean it’s not true.

How does the other person see this issue? 6 CUPS

I think the person just wants to secure a happy, safe life to her and her family, with no need to worry about how someone’s going to take it all away one day and ruin the carefree, easygoing existence. The person also wants to go back to the past where no such things as climate change were ever heard of and hence, didn’t cause any trouble or hassle to anyone. It was a life of simply enjoying existence without having to worry about overpopulation, allocation of resources, environmental protection, survival of human kind etc.

Why is it important to me to be right? 10 CUPS

To ensure happy coexistence, environment and atmosphere for the extended family. I’m done with arguing, I’d just like everyone to enjoy each other’s company and live in harmony.

Why is it important to the other person to be right? EMPEROR

This card talks about control and power, but also permanence and solidity in life: the bed rock of one’s life. It’s possible this person wants to expose the authority that is (in her view) wrongly exerted upon people (environmental taxes etc.), or, she would want to have a solid ground how to live, without having to worry how these evil forces of the world want to disrupt her lifestyle by imposing rules.

What is the ideal solution for me? 2 CUPS

To understand each other, see eye to eye, be able to connect, listen and be heard – and feel happy about the existence and company of each other. Yes, that would be ideal.

What is the ideal solution for the other person? 7 CUPS

I suspect this means she’d like me to see the world like she sees it: see all those opportunities and threats that surround us, use my imagination more, accept that not everything is like the “mainstream media” wants to present it, that there can be more going on behind the closed doors.

What is the middle ground? QUEEN OF SWORDS

Stick to the facts, don’t get emotional. Stay grounded and mature, don’t engage into fights, don’t attack, but cut through any BS with clarity and confidence. There’s no real reason to fight, but, at the same time, there’s no real reason to not stand my ground and present my facts as I know them. And allow this same opportunity to her, too, it’s not just about me.

What action should I take to reach the middle ground? 9 CUPS

Focus on feeling satisfied and happy, and also remember to party. I usually meet this relative in family parties and gettogethers, so focusing on having fun and appreciating the lovely food, drinks and company would work much better than engaging into petty bickering.

The likely outcome if I take the advice? 10 SWORDS

This matter will be put to rest, it will die off. Yes, there might still be some arguments left but eventually we’ll move on, tired. The topic and the thoughts and worries associated to it will just die out, there is no energy and interest left to keep waving these swords at each other. The worst is upon us, it can't get worse than this, so we might just move on. 

*

Of course, using this spread does not guarantee that the other person is willing to cooperate or back off. But at least it gives you clarity on where the other person is coming from, what motivates them, and what would their ideal solution be, so that you can reassess your approach and see if you can offer an olive branch. If you can’t, at least you are better informed in your actions!

When we fight, we normally try to defend either literally or symbolically our existence or our cubs, the beloved "children" (projects, thoughts, feelings, anything we create). Instincts run unchecked. But, what about the other party? Most likely he or she is feeling exactly the same. 

How to be a better partner?

I bumped into this question on an online forum: should you or should you not change for love?

One valid view is that of course not. If you need to try and change who you are, it’s a dead end road from the beginning. Carving out elements of your personality or trying to fit in someone else’s mold simply can’t work or provide any sort of long-term happiness. Which, I fully agree, is true. Trying to please someone else by being something you are NOT is a surefire way to break your own heart and maybe your own spine and self-esteem, too.

I want to make clear that I’m pretty much the last person on earth who wants to advocate bending over backwards for someone else.

I’ve had my own issues with clingy and co-dependent people, and I’ve went through a crash-course about how to deal with and survive from a manipulative narcissist, so I strongly encourage everyone to stand their own ground. However, there is a difference between being your current self, warts and scales and all, and being the best version of yourself.

Nobody can be perfect, but quite a few of us can be slightly improved, if we first identify what’s not working in and for ourselves and for our relationship. This is quite a self-evident advice but not everyone realises it when they are pining for a relationship, or for a better relationship. The only person you can change is you – and, let’s take an honest look: are you a genuinely nice person to be with?

We’ve all heard about “if you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best”, but could that worst be brought into a bit more manageable level?

Does it have to be the Third World War or the annual convention of drama queens or kings, when you’re at your worst? For me it certainly was at some stage, but I eventually realised that I’m not being very fair – nor nice. And why would I want to put my beloved through such a misery in the first place – I love him more than anything in the world, and I want him to know it, every day of the year.

Here’s a spread I created to examine this very question, and my own sample reading.

How to be a better partner?

1. What is my overall partnering style (how do I behave in a relationship)?
2. With who am I compatible with?
3. What is something my partner(s, ex and current) like about me?
4. What is something my partner(s, ex and current) dislike about me?
5. What should I leave behind to be a better partner?
6. What should I embrace to be a better partner?
7. What action should I take to find/build/maintain a fulfilling relationship?

- - 7 - -

- 5 - 6 -

1 - 2 -3 - 4

What is my overall style of being a partner? 8 CUPS

I’m always searching for something new in my life, I’m never fully satisfied. This card is and is not true, depending on the angle. I aspire to commit for life and when I’m in love, I believe it will last forever. Of course sometimes things change and it won’t, but I’ve always been in lasting relationships and the current one – marriage to my soulmate – for all intents and purposes is supposed to last for a lifetime and beyond. 

However, in every other area in my life I’m always in search for more – or something new. I like experiencing new things and I get bored easily with hobbies, work etc. I blame my Gemini moon for this insatiable thirst for new knowledge, new emotions, new experiences, new viewpoints. And I keep dragging/inspiring my partner to this quest, too. I pretty much have a new plan for my/our life every week and some of those plans transpire to action, some don’t, because I come up with a new, even “better” plan.

With who am I compatible with? LOVERS

With my soulmate, duh, thank you tarot. With the person who makes me feel that he is the choice of my mind, heart, body and soul: when the relationship makes me feel all these aspects of myself are in perfect alignment and it feels like it’s a match made in heaven.

What is something my partner(s) like about me? ACE OF PENTACLES

I’m a solid choice, I guess. As I said, I commit and see the value of the relationship. I’m also crafty and always on the lookout for new opportunities: to earn money, grow as a person, learn something new, network, find and incorporate something new and interesting into my/our life. I’m also the “cheerleader” or the life coach of my partner, trying to find job opportunities for him and supporting him through the application process from writing the resume together to coaching for the interview.

What is something my partner(s) dislike about me? PAGE OF SWORDS

Hmm. I’m an eternal student and currently I’m studying towards a PhD degree. I simply love learning and I dwell in areas of my interest for days to an end. I don’t believe my partners necessarily dislike the studious or curious side, but perhaps this pertains to my communication blunders – the immature and inconsiderate side of the Page. I’m known for my stupid blurt-outs and inadvertent heartless comments that I have let escape my lips without thinking. Time to practice, clearly…

What should I put behind to be a better partner? 2 WANDS

This card most often means change of heart to me. It’s a passionate choice, made after an earlier passionate choice. I definitely recognise myself from this flipping back and forth and this relates to the earlier 8 Cups, always on the quest to find fulfilment that never comes. My husband is much more solid with his plans and this sometimes causes distress and tension for him – he feels I’m uprooting him with my flickering plans to move to Japan to teach English, move to New Zealand to own an adventure company, move to Queensland, Australia, to have our own wedding resort… I’ve been learning the hard way that the only way forward in life is to set intention and then follow through with resilience. This butterfly tendency to hop from one plan to another with a moment’s notice is clearly not the most helpful in a relationship, nor is it taking me anywhere, really.

What should I embrace to be a better partner? 9 SWORDS

Stop worrying for nothing. I’m normally easygoing and relaxed, but sometimes I get stuck in a loop of anxieties and worries: why are things not progressing as I’d like? Is something bad going to happen? How can I keep myself and my partner safe from accidents, misfortune etc.? This, again, is not very helpful. Alternatively, this card could simply say “nothing”, stop worrying about needing to be something different or more!

What action should I take to maintain a fulfilling relationship? 2 CUPS. 

Haha, another no-brainer! Be a giving, open and receptive partner: transparent and generous in your emotions and expect the same in return. Love with your full heart and be loved in return.

More of this same topic can be found in this article: how one husband changed the course of his marriage by biting the bullet, stopping the blame game and changing his own behaviour. And what flow-on effects it had on his wife and life. An interesting read! 

2 Cups, Joie de Vivre tarot, Paulina Cassidy. Mutual, equal, shared, true love.

Unearth your hidden talents - "activate your strange jewels"

Do you suspect you have - or maybe, you believe you don't have! - hidden talents that nobody, including you, knows about? Now we have a way to find out!

This spread, activate your strange jewels, is from the Over the Moon – blog, who in turn borrowed it from Happy Fish Tarot. Carrie of Happy Fish got the inspiration for her spread from Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of Eat Pray Love and Big Magic. 

Carrie describes the spread like this:

We all have innate creative strengths, but for many of us these “strange jewels” (as Elizabeth Gilbert calls them) seem inaccessible and hidden. This reading will guide you in unearthing and using your own strange jewels! You’ll get actionable tips on understanding your gifts and actively engaging your creativity. 

Elizabeth in turn describes what she means by “the strange jewels” like this:

I’ve always embraced magical thinking when it comes to creativity. I see inspiration as a mysterious external force that comes to us from unknown realms, in order to collaborate with our imaginations. This is how humans saw the artistic process for thousands of years, and it still works for me! 

I certainly like this fanciful approach to creativity better than the modern notion of the tormented artist, suffering alone in anguish and martyrdom. My book is an effort to lure people back into the “Big Magic” — into a more celebratory and mystical way of being a maker. (from the Etsy Blog)

And, this is how you do it:

Activate your strange jewels 
(or, unearth your hidden, unexpected talents or traits)

Card 1- Accessible Gifts: 8 CUPS.

This card talks about leaving an unsatisfactory or unfulfilling situation behind for a quest to find what makes one happy. At first sight, this does not look like a positive gift, but on a deeper level, this is a very pertinent card. I’ve never been afraid in life to leave a situation (or location, action, feeling or person) behind which or who does not serve a positive purpose anymore, even if it once brought joy.

I guess this is a good talent to have, because if I were afraid to move on, nothing would ever change. This definitely changed my view of the 8 Cups as the card of sad abandonment of something. Walking away is not always a bad thing – in fact, it can be the first step of something new and great -, even if it hurts at the moment of leaving.

Card 2 - Unconscious Gifts: DEVIL.

This is even more cryptic at the first sight than the 8 Cups. How could negative forces, unhealthy attachments and fear possibly be good gifts? Then it clicked.

I have a tendency of getting obsessed by whatever interests me. It can be anything from tarot to the nature of reality to travel stories to thriller novels. I go through periods of finding out everything I can about a topic, dwelling in it, thinking – definitely overthinking – it. It’s not the healthiest way to be passionate, but it’s quite effective. This obsessive period of a few weeks or up to months is a crash course on whatever topic I’m into, and I gain the knowledge for the rest of my life. This most definitely is an unconscious and unexpected, strange jewel!

Card 3 - Challenges of Your Gifts: STAR.

I regularly seek guidance (from tarot, my intuition, synchronities and other signs around) and I’m a positive and upbeat person by nature, but I also have a tendency/downfall to not trust this guidance and sense of direction. One day I’m sure my purpose is to be a teacher of tarot and intuition. The next day I’m sure my purpose is to be a travel blogger. The third, it’s something else. I keep losing track due to overthinking and overactive imagination – but mainly, impatience.

When things don’t go to the direction I’m expecting or hoping them to go, I start doubting myself and the plans I have: should I change them? Is this after all what I’m supposed to be doing? And round and round in circles I go, not achieving what I could, but beating the bush in the dark, without seeing the star above me. Point taken, better keep scanning and following that star even during the darkest moments!

Card 4 - Your Contribution: KING OF PENTACLES.

This card is intended to represent why your gifts are important and how they contribute to the world. This is the entrepreneur card for me: a person who is in charge and enjoys controlling the material realm.

It’s my dream to have my own, financially and emotionally successful business and with this tarot site I’m taking first tentative steps to that direction. I’ve had a one person consultancy business before (arts and culture projects and event production) and I loved it – besides the financial side, which was not bountiful. This time I hope to make the most out of my strange talents by offering them to the world and hopefully making a living at the side. So perhaps my skill to courageously leave things behind and look for something more can inspire others to do the same, and leave whatever is not working in their lives behind for something new.

Card 5 - Real-World Application: 10 CUPS.

My strange gifts have the ability to make me and my partner/family/friends very happy. This is the card of domestic bliss, overflowing happiness and overall satisfaction in life. Maybe my gift and spreading it can make the people around me, or the people who seek guidance or advice from me, happy? What more could I ask? Not a thing!

Card 6 - Advice:  TOWER.

The final card gives advice on taking the next step. Whoa, this is a disturbing card to get – the card of destruction, shock, crumbling beliefs or expectations. Maybe it means I should not have any fixed or cemented mental constructions about myself or the world around me: I don’t have the whole truth or the right picture, when I start cementing my views. It’s good to be flexible and adaptable, and understand that in life, things change constantly – including myself and my own abilities.

Happy exploring!

Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert's new book about creativity. Picture via Etsy Blog.

Meet your dark self: shadow work with tarot

I recently bumped into an interesting concept of working with tarot to explore your shadow self: deeply held insecurities and skewed perceptions about yourself, as well as emotional baggage or harmful behaviour patterns learnt through the course of life.

I am by no means experienced in this particular area in terms of all the psychology involved, but I do love self-exploration spreads and self-development, so why not give it a go!

Obviously any sort of shadow work requires the same objectiveness and open mind than tarot in general: whatever comes up, be willing to face it as it is, don't try to sugar coat, ignore, nor see it in a worse light than necessary! Crystal clear objectivity is the goal here.

Shadow work, obviously, is not just poking at open wounds, it's about recognising areas that need healing: what needs to be released, forgiven and/or immersed into one's person but as a positive force instead of negative, through learning from it.

This reading, borrowed from Over the Moon - blog, is merely a scratch of what shadow work could mean, but it proved very insightful nevertheless. A spread like this can be quite heavy, so only do it if you feel strong enough to not blame yourself or feel ashamed of what's inside; and if you feel prepared to explore and heal it.

Because I like conciseness, I drew only one, max, two cards depending on how I felt while asking the question (will one be enough or not), but this could be done by drawing three cards for each question consistently.

Your Shadow Self - reading

What piece of your past you still dwell in you need to let go?
STRENGTH REV

This card shows a young maiden placing her hand into the mouth of a lion. It's about taming the instincts and having inner strength, trusting your own power. Reversed, the lion is on top, more powerful than the maiden. I knew immediately what this means. It stems from my childhood, feeling powerless because of another person (of a sign of Leo, coincidentally!). I've grown up to be a self-confident self-starter, but these lingering doubts, fear and inability to show my vulnerability and be unapologetically myself still shadow me.

What is the hypothetical conversation or topic you mull over and over in your head?
MOON

The Moon talks about confusion, lack of clarity, intuition and instinctive fears. For me in this position it means topics of the otherworld, the unseen and  unknown, in particular fears. At one stage I used to get almost paralysing fits of fear of death - anxiety attacks. I've gone past the paralysing part, but I do still ponder life after death (or possible lack thereof) quite a bit, but at least from a calmer mindset. I'm hugely interested in spiritual matters, including paranormal, but at the same time I dismiss it (not provable scientifically) yet I'm afraid by it (what if I experience something scary?).

What type of a disaster you secretly wish you'd experience and survive? What need does it serve?
ACE OF PENTACLES - 2 PENTACLES

This Ace is a tangible opportunity and a start, the first seed. Two of Pentacles is about split focus and successful juggling of many things at once. This tells that I secretly desire to start everything from a scratch, with nothing in my pockets but a chance to find an opportunity. This satisfies my need to have a flexible, adaptable mindset and prove myself that I can overcome any obstacle by being nimble and resourceful, think on my feet in a dire situation. I've actually deliberately put myself into this situation more than once by moving countries with nothing else but a backpack and some savings, and working my way up - I still dream of doing this again. Now I  know why.

What are you afraid of revealing to others?
10 WANDS REV - 6 PENTACLES REV.

The card of obligations and burdens, and the card of seeking and receiving help. I don't want to reveal that I can become overwhelmed and need help. I pride myself for being resourceful, energetic achiever; but this apparently comes with a disclaimer. I need to learn that giving up is not shameful. Sometimes it's better to realise early that something won't work, or I've taken on too much: I'm not a superhuman and I need someone to support me, encourage me, help me out.

What false armour have you crafted for yourself' to protect you from pain?
DEVIL, clarified by the EMPRESS

This card was actually the most difficult for me to interpret in this spread. I read the Devil as unhealthy attachments (such as obsessions or pestering negative thoughts and emotions), as well as feeling oppressed or driven by something negative (fears, negativity, jealousy, etc.). However, I can't recognise suffering from any of these, besides some lingering residual fears I'm still working on. I read this combo to mean that I don't have a false armour as such, but I do have fears that I allow to limit me. If I work them out and release myself, I'll experience life in its beautiful fullness.

Into what stereotype you unwittingly fit?
SUN REV.

The Sun, the card of joy of life and clarity, doesn't seem too dramatic or negative stereotype, as I tend to read Sun reversed as a milder, clouded version of the merrily shining, easygoing sun. However, there are a couple of less flattering options. Either I'm seen as an attention seeker (someone wanting to take the centre of the stage and others revolve around her/him) or I'm seen as someone who can't have fun and enjoy life - a party pooper. I tend to be the responsible one and never go overboard with frivolity (= recklessness). On the other hand, I'm not bothered by fitting a stereotype - people tend to categorise anyway and if I'm being categorised among everything and everyone else, can't help it :)

What thought keeps you awake at night?
7 PENTACLES

Thinking about and assessing my progress, waiting for results? This is not the most obvious "nighthawk", a pestering night thought. I usually don't suffer from sleeplessness, so I really can't think of a thought I expected to come up with this card. I guess this is about me measuring what I've achieved so far: I have plenty of plans on the go at all times and some of them work, some don't. This could also relate to my fear that I won't achieve everything I want to achieve, I won't be able to live up to my full potential.

Where do you need to broaden your perspective?
6 CUPS - QUEEN OF PENTACLES

Children playing and the most motherly Queen of the deck spell out the obvious: family life and motherhood. I'm not a mother, and my perspective about motherhood is probably very narrow: I tend to see it as around-the-clock work with no breaks, taking care of someone else's every need and disregarding my own due to lack of time and energy - hence, it sounds quite draining, undesirable and even scary! I'm sure there's much more to it which I'll probably only learn through my own family, if I get past my apprehensiveness first :D

Best of luck with exploring your own dark corners and cobwebbed nooks of the soul!

What lays in the shadows of your persona and only comes out after dark? Photo via Freenaturestock.