New Year 2019 - happy healing!

The turn of the year is traditionally a time to reflect the past and anticipate and plan the future. Divination has been a part of new year traditions in many cultures for aeons.

For example, my family used to do tin casting, melting of little horse shoes made of tin, to predict the coming year based on the shadow the melted lump would cast on the wall. My parents have never been believers in divination, really, but that was a fun and family-friendly tradition we always did in the late evening of the New Year's Eve, before venturing out to watch the fireworks in the snow.

Instead of horse shoes or melting metal, these days I'm more interested in the messages Tarot cards can deliver. For next year, I decided to take a look what I could focus on in terms of inner and outer healing; repairing or improving something in my outlook in life.

Here's a 9-card example reading if you'd like to try this at home.

What I need to heal in 2019 and why? 7 PENTACLES RX - ACE OF WANDS RX

I need to heal my impatience, the forever-present feeling that things should already be happening and I should already be reaping the rewards even if I just started something new. Projects, ideas, new life stages naturally need time to unfold and mature and hurrying up this process is like trying to force a plant to grow - useless. Everything will grow taking its time. Feeling impatient, frustrated or trapped by it is equally useless. Breath, relax, calm down, put in the effort but also remember to allow time for baby steps and quiet, slow progress.

Why is it important to learn patience? Without it, I quickly burn out my enthusiasm and zest. Ideas and plans spark to life and die as quickly, without leaving any mark to the world, if I don't have the patience and grit to carry them out fully. Even if it takes twice as long as I anticipated or would like.

What are the best steps to take to heal? 9 CUPS - 6 WANDS

Enjoy daydreaming and revelling in wishes, hopes, plans and past positive memories. Letting the mind wander and wonder is essential for anything new to come to life - new plans, ideas, projects, steps. Sometimes relaxing and simply accepting life as it is, finding the beauty in the everyday, are the best breeding grounds for the new seeds. Cats nap most of their day, preserving energy and enjoying the warmth of the sun or home hearth. Why not follow these masters' suit?

Enjoy the successes you've already experienced and about to experience; allow yourself to be happy and proud when acknowledged by others for your hard work or skills. Recognition should never be the ultimate goal as anything external is fleeting, but it can help build confidence and determination to achieve what you want to achieve.

What are the most likely obstacles for my healing? 10 SWORDS - TOWER RX

Wow, dramatic! Seems like the biggest obstacles are the possibility of taking things too seriously, being overtly dramatic about things not going my way, and feeling like everything's failing or collapsing when in reality, nothing of that magnitude is going on. Again, the message of patience, calming down and taking it easy repeats but in a different iteration.

Even if I feel stuck, directionless or aimless, I shouldn't give in to the feelings of desperation. There's absolutely no need to feel that strongly about inevitable setbacks and delays. Just breathe, stay focused, stay on track. If things start going drastically wrong in any area of life, step back and regroup instead of throwing yourself into an emergency mode.

How will my life be different after I heal? PAGE OF CUPS RX - 2 PENTACLES RX - STRENGTH

I will no longer feel emotionally immature or like I'm a juggler failing at my performance. Healing this aspect of myself will improve my inner and outer strength, perseverance, the ability to stay focused and keep any instinctive knee-jerk reactions at check. My life will be less hectic, less reactionary, and more serene. Not a bad result to work towards to!

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Follow your Star to a happier life. Star, Shadowscapes Tarot

How to deal with other people's difficult issues?

As this blog suggests, I spend a lot of time thinking about happiness. It's my research topic from the angle: how does the environment affect people's happiness (or well-being, quality of life), positively and negatively? Even though I study the built and natural environment, I also think about the social environment, meaning other people.

I believe one of the major life lessons for everyone is to find the right balance between independence and interdependence. How to be our own persons, standing on our own feet, but not push others away in the process? How to ask, receive and give help without becoming clingy, interfering or irritating? How to build our own life, yet be inclusive to others? How to know where the boundaries lie?

Why is this important - or, as I think, one of the most important lessons in life? Because whether we find that balance or not, has a direct and immediate impact on happiness: our own and others.

I used to stress a lot about other people's problems. If a family member was struggling with something (a health problem, an unrewarding job, relationship issues), I'd spend days and nights trying to come up with a solution to help them become happier - or, at least, less unhappy.

Often, that was a source of mutual, accumulating frustration. I would get upset that my family member wouldn't take my advice, and I saw that as obstinate, pessimistic or lackadaisical. Whereas the person I tried to help probably saw me as interfering, overbearing or bossy. I only realised a few years ago that I can't possibly solve everyone's issues and people are, at times, unhappy. The only one who can resolve the unhappiness is the unhappy person themselves.

Not everyone is ready to do it, for myriads of reasons: not everyone sees what's the real source of their unhappiness; they don't want to face the truth; they assume/hope things will improve due to the hoped actions of other people/fortune; they don't believe (yet) that things even could change; or they're worn out by their problems and can't solve it just now.

What helped me realise I can't carry the burden of others' issues was twofold:

• I believe everyone has their own life lessons to learn and if somebody else's lessons relate to overcoming obstacles or experiencing unhappiness, stuckness, apathy, etc. so be it; and
• other people are not my extension and vice versa. 

What decisions my loved ones make, is not actually up to me to change. Of course, self-destructive behaviour and unhealthy decisions need to be raised and if possible, stopped. But, at the end, there's only so much outsiders can do to stop an adult from making (good or bad) decisions and living an unhappy life - other than politely offer support and conversation company.

An example. I feel that some family members are overeating, overdrinking, taking unnecessary risks or overly engaged in a conservative religious mindset (the former and the latter relatives are not the same, btw ;) ). I used to stress about those to no end. What could I do to change things? How could I help/force them to see that they are harming themselves by either creating health issues, or by creating social division and discord with their loud views?

The answer: I can't do much. I can only point it out politely and diplomatically, but I can't make anyone change. Change must come from each of us within. If these people don't see a problem in their lifestyle even after repeated discussions, then the only thing I can do is to learn live with it. Change myself, if possible, or disengage, if needed.

However, herein lies the problem: we can't force anyone to change, but I think it's our responsibility to offer a sounding board or a mirror to other people - and expect / allow others offer that to us. How could the people around us ever know we disapprove, if we don't tell it (politely and with a reasoned justification)?

I've also been guilty - and still am - for not raising issues, because I don't want to offend or cause a conflict. But withdrawal actually steals a chance from both parties to learn, grow, change for better.

Here's a spread to examine,

how to more fruitfully deal with someone else's issue?

1. What's the best way to raise the matter with the other?
2. What response can I expect, if I raise it?
3. How to best deal with the response?
4. What sort of a plan I could propose to move forward?
5. What will happen, if I don't raise it?
6. How can I offer better support?
7. How does the other person feel about his/her issue?

We are all different, yet we should be able to live peacefully side by side. Not an easy task!

Difference between possible and impossible

I joined a new pilates/yoga studio a couple of weeks ago and go often, partly because it's energising, partly because it's direct debited fortnightly for unlimited access, so I better get value for money!

I've practised yoga sporadically for five years now (sometimes multiple times per week, sometimes not at all for a month or two) and it's an activity where you gradually and reliably see the change in your skills, flexibility and balance. Slowly, slowly at first, but faster once you get the hang of it. Of course the main purpose is to learn to be more mindful, calm and centered, but the physical, fitness side is a great addition, too.

Yesterday, someone new joined my pilates class: an overweight 50+ lady. She struggled to keep up, which is more than understandable. Starting from zero is always hard, and it takes courage to join a class where you feel others are more fit and skilled than you. The teacher kept encouraging her in every turn and teaching her different methods to not make it all too challenging.

However, the new lady kept finding reasons (excuses?) why she can't do more than a couple of repeats per move. Instead of at least trying and persisting, she complained about cramps, panting, sweat, how it all feels uncomfortable. With every change of body position, she shuffled a good long minute longer than others - which made her drop out of the others' rhythm, then apparently feel she can't catch up anyway so she simply waited for the beginning of the next series of moves. And the same shuffling, delay and drop-out again, throughout the class.

This sounds judgemental and I admit I struggled with not judging her, but she was only harming herself by giving up from the get-go. Any type of exercise feels awkward and uncomfortable from the start, when you're not yet familiar with how it should feel and how great it can feel afterwards. She wasn't pushing herself, because she had not (yet or ever?) learned, that developing strength, balance and flexibility takes a few weeks to notice. Rewards don't come immediately and you don't even get the post-workout euphoria if there's no proper workout.

Of course I can't know what were her reasons for not persisting. But I've heard many times before people complaining how they exercise or diet and no results come. There is a good chance the exercise is not actually done as effectively as it should be: attending a class is not the same as actually doing a workout, pushing yourself, challenging and persevering.

The moral #1 of the story is not to judge anyone who's struggling with weight of fitness. It's to remember that everything in life takes work, effort, energy, time to succeed.

Yoga has actually taught me the meaning of the Hanged Man tarot card: it's about self-sacrifice, voluntary yet frustrating waiting, changing one's viewpoint instead of changing one's circumstances. Sometimes you must stay in an uncomfortable (yoga or life) position for longer than you'd possibly like, because it's good for you in the long run. And you'll only see the benefits later, after sufficient time - weeks, months or years.

The moral #2 of the story is: whatever we tell ourselves, we believe, and that becomes our reality. "It's too hard, it can't be done, I'm not fit enough, I'm not skilled enough, I don't know what to do anyway, everyone else is better than me, I can't succeed because everything and everyone is against me, I just have a body type that won't allow me to change, etc."

I've worked in four different fields, tried and played any sports I can think of, moved to new countries and travelled wide and far, because before embarking on any of these quests, I've told myself: "others have done it, I can do it too." And believed it. The usual limiting suspects, such as time, money, lack of skills etc. are not an actual, physical barrier, if you plan and prioritise differently.

Very few things in life are outright impossible, but a good number of things are at least semi-possible if you set your heart to it and stick with it. No excuses, no dodging, no giving up when the first roadblock comes or the first cramp hits.

If you can't achieve your full dream, maybe you can achieve at least half of it? 

With weight loss, maybe half of your target is better than no loss at all? Acquiring new skills: learning the basics of a new language is better than not learning at all. Changing jobs: finding a lower-paid position in a field that interests you is better than no change at all. Dating: putting yourself out there to learn confidence and socialising skills is better than not even trying, even if you don't find the Prince/Princess Charming immediately. And so forth.

And here's a tarot spread I created for identifying roadblocks and ways around them.

POSSIBLE OR IMPOSSIBLE? 
Pull 1-3 cards for each question depending on your interpretation skills and reading preferences

1. What change or achievement I believe is not possible, when it actually is? 
2. What can I do to make it happen?
3. What negative situation or trait in myself I believe is permanent, and it's not?
4. What to do to change it for better?
5. What change or achievement for now is out of my reach? 
6. What can I do to achieve or change some of it? 
7. What trait in me helps me achieve goals?
8. What trait in me hinders me from achieving goals?
9. What to focus on to be the best possible version of myself?

And a sample reading:

1)  7 PENTACLES. This card is often read to meant "waiting for results", as it shows a person waiting for fruit to ripen. I read this to mean here: accumulating wealth, as my card shows a mother and a child ready to pick massive, plump apples.


2)  EMPEROR. This card means a structured, organised and assertive approach; stability and permanency. I think it means: accumulating wealth can happen with hard work, logical approach and wise investment decisions.

3)  7 WANDS. The uphill battle I'm currently in with my PhD studies and work. I'm doing my best to tackle all challenges, yet it feels I'm not moving forward at all. More issues and tasks pile up on me no matter how fast and well I work.

4)  9 PENTACLES. The card of enjoying one's freedom, independence, wealth, experience, achievements. Maybe I should take more time for myself, to enjoy my freedom and things I like. And also remember and appreciate the fact that I'm actually quite free both at studies and at work to handle things as I please.

5)  8 WANDS. Fast-paced action and messages bearing good news. I'm waiting/hoping for good news from multiple fronts regarding my studies and a creative project I'm undertaking, but clearly the action won't be fast in those areas. Well, good to know.

6)  3 CUPS. Find like-minded people, join "my tribe", enjoy company of friends. My friends, indeed, are helping me with the creative undertaking. Also, I should do more research online to find the best community, as I'm trying to find a University department to join next year as a visiting scholar.

7)  4 WANDS. The card of home, completions, celebrations. I work full-time in the office but I also work at home on my own stuff, which I truly enjoy. Also, I divide tasks into chunks that are easier to complete than the whole project, and I mark the mid-completions with celebration. It works!

8)  LOVERS. I believe I should only focus on things / people I love in life. However, this is not possible, because many tasks are simply boring, but necessary steps on the way to bigger achievements. For example, I'm much more prone to fiddle with my tarot cards in the evenings than read PhD material... and I should not let my heart dictate what I do so much!

9)  5 WANDS. The card of conflicts, frustrations, competition. I don't think I should be more anxious or frustrated, but maybe I should put myself out there to compete more: I can't achieve goals if I shy away from competition. However, as I am quite competitive already, I'm inclined to read this as a reminder to keep an eye on this tendency and only use it in appropriate occasions - fight for your goals when needed, but let others win where necessary to keep the balance right. 

I hope this offers interesting insights! 

Forge your own path marked with successes and joy. Photo (c) Tarot for Change.

How to use tarot for healthier, fitter life?

Tarot is a great tool for self-exploration and self-development, as last discussed in the Meet your shadow self - post.

In my view, tarot cards are a great help because they make feelings, emotions, thoughts and concepts visible, almost tangible. Being able to analyse - to look at with your own eyes - an invisible, mental or emotional matter makes it much easier to comprehend. But how well does tarot work with everyday guidance or with more physical matters?

I've always been sporty - maybe due to my energetic fire sign nature - but in particular over the holiday period it's so very easy to overindulgence: there's chocolate, wine, heavy meals, cheese... and less time and interest for exercise. So I asked myself: how could tarot help with crafting a healthier, fitter life - or getting back on track with your momentarily slipped healthy life?

This theme is also a great opportunity to discuss the different methods for interpreting cards.

Cards can be read in as many ways as there are readers, but the most used and useful methods in my opinion are: the book meanings, the cues from pictures, and your own personal interpretations.

The book meanings are where it all starts. All cards have meanings, set by their creator and the tradition the specific deck relies on. Learning the book meanings is pretty much the same as learning words of a new language from a dictionary. It might feel like hard work, but eventually the words and meanings will stick; and nobody would expect to learn a new language without ever having to check the dictionary or ask from a native speaker, wouldn't they?

The visual cues in the image is where you start using your own intuition mixed with the book meaning, which is depicted by the image. This step is like learning the language on the go, partly relying on the dictionary, partly trying to figure from the speech. What is happening in the card? Who is in it? What is the person/people doing? What do they feel, think, plan, experience? How does that fit into your question? What is the connection of this specific picture and your life or question? What objects are present? What colours come up and how they make you feel? Is there something missing - say, you asked about an emotional question but won't get any cups = feelings?

Your personal, unique meanings are what wrap things up. This is like learning a slang or being able to create word plays in a new language. These interpretations can be based on your own understanding or intuition on what the image means, no matter what the book says. Your take might be a different angle or an additional meaning only you know through experience: the card has come to mean something specific for you, or you see the picture differently than the books.

I think that every reading is a combination of these three traits, but I've noticed through experience that when discussing physical matters (such as: where is the item I lost, how does such and such person/object look) the image often has a more literal meaning, whereas for the mental/emotional/spiritual plane the visual cues are more symbolic.

Healthier, fitter me - spread

     6

    4 - 5

    1 - 2 - 3

1. What would be the best goal for me in search of healthier/fitter life?

2. How can I best achieve this goal?

3. What new activity or exercise I should try?

4. How to best achieve/maintain my ideal weight?

5. What will motivate me with my weight/fitness goal?

6. The best advice for me to be healthier?

And here's an example reading.

1. Goal - ACE OF WANDS. The goal should be to feel more energised, enthusiastic and inspired, get an energy boost out of exercising and healthy eating, which then radiates to all areas of my life.

2. How to - MAGICIAN. Trust your own skills, willpower and talents. Explore and have fun with creating the life you like; the new, fitter, healthier me. It's all within your reach, it's a matter of turning intention into action, not just dreaming or mulling it over in your head.

3. New thing to try - 2 WANDS. There are options available, it's up to you to decide which one feels the most energising and exciting. It could also be about literal wands, such as skiing (ski poles) or Scandinavian walking: power walking with ski poles. Hiking with hiking poles could also work! 

For some reason I get gymnastics from this picture, in particular parallel bars, so maybe it's time to revive my childhood hobby! It could also be about balance and finding the ability to focus, so yoga would work perfectly - I already do yoga but it's more of a physical exercise than a mind-training method for me, whereas yoga could enable crystal-clear focus, staying in the zone. 

4. Ideal weight - HIGH PRIESTESS. Listen to your body and learn to know it's secrets better. I think I should be more mindful about how I'm not always hungry when I want to eat: it can be about boredom, frustration, for reward, just to finish the plate because I took too much... The Priestess is a reminder to be more mindful about how, why and what I eat. Also, the Priestess holds a pomegranate and there are more at the background, so it's quite a clear prompt to eat more fruit and veggies to keep it fresh and light. 

5. Motivation - 7 CUPS. Dreams, wishes and aspirations. Well, obviously many of my clothes will fit better and look nicer if I keep myself fit, and I've had this dream of once in my life having visible abs! Not necessarily a six-pack, but at least a fit-looking midriff. I'm short so any excess weigh shows quickly, and it tends to pack around me as a spare tyre if I'm not careful. 

6. Best advice - 4 SWORDS. Rest more, take power naps, ensure good quality sleep, take breaks, withdraw from the daily hassle. I haven't slept enough for some time now, just because I feel so energised by many recent life changes (one of them is this blog) so I often wake up ridiculously early because I feel I have so many things to do. I need to remember to take time to rest and recover, too. Meditation and quiet contemplation, letting my mind rest, is essential here. 

Happy searching for your healthier and fitter version!

Listen to your body and eat more fresh produce, reminds the High Priestess.