Interview by Berlin Tarot Parlor - what's it like to read professionally?

Louise, the owner of Berlin Tarot Parlor, runs a fresh and informative blog and reading service. Louise was interested in hearing my views about tarot, reading professionally, and what tarot can give to the seekers, so she asked me 10+1 questions online about tarot, including my favourite cards.

Louise's plan is to interview tarot readers around the world to give insights about different takes on how to read, why to read and what sort of benefits or revelations tarot cards can offer. Her blog is also packed with handy infographics, so it's a great place to start seeking advice on how to interpret the cards.

Take a look on the full interview here:

http://tarotparlor.com/blog/tarot-interview-with-anu-saskia/

Snippets from the interview

Tarot Parlor T.P: How did you discover Tarot?

Anu Saskia A.S: By coincidence, or fate, depending on one’s viewpoint! I went through a divorce in 2011. I was desperate for solace and guidance, so I ordered a free astrology reading online. It came with a complementary Tarot reading. The cards I got were so accurate that I just stared at them in awe and shock.

T.P: What is the cliche about Tarot that annoys you the most?

A S: That it’s either a hoax or something evil. I understand that for a today’s non-religious, scientifically geared mindset it’s difficult to believe that pieces of paper could bear any messages, other than what’s imagined or superimposed on them by our own hopes, fears and wishful thinking. But I personally like to approach “paranormal” topics without prior assumptions either way. Tarot is not evil or satanic, either. It’s about interpreting symbols in the same way than interpreting dreams. Would anyone label discussing dreams or trying to understand their intuitive message as evil?

T.P: If you read professionally, what questions come up more often?

A S: Romantic relationships and career are the top areas to ask about. Both men and women around the world are anxious to know when they'll find the one. Many ask about reconciling with an ex. Another major area is career direction.

In general, a tarot reader gets a mixed bag of all sorts: will my cat come home, how will this legal proceeding go, should I contact a childhood friend, will this argument be reconciled, will my finances improve soon? More often than not questions veer towards: will my situation change for better due to someone else taking action, or the universe changing it? I always remind that you are the one in charge of your life.

T.P: What’s the strangest or most difficult question someone has asked you in a reading?

A S: Can you locate a specific book I've lost? The cards gave advice that didn’t mean much to me but when I relayed it to the sitter, she found the book, based on the advice. All questions about finding things are tricky, because cards are symbolic, not literal, and they work better when discussing mental, emotional or spiritual aspects of life instead of the material plane. In general, people don't tend to ask strange questions - they ask what they would ask from a friend, for guidance, advice and perspective.

The full answers and the rest of the 10+1 questions can be found in the link above. I hope you enjoy it!

How to analyse dreams

For some reason, dream interpretation has a bit of a bad rap - it's easily seen as fluffy and vague pseudo-psychology or New Age mumbo jumbo that's at best harmless and at worst, laughable.

I personally think interpreting - or rather, analysing - dreams is a very useful tool for self-exploration and knowing what's going on in your life, mind and heart.

People have interpreted dreams as long as the human kind has existed.

Apparently there have been times and cultures where talking about dreams has been the first thing to do among the family or tribe members in the morning. I love doing this with my partner - whenever I can remember my dreams - because it's an interesting topic, a nice way to connect over breakfast (on weekends when we're not in a hurry to get to work) and it's also a practical way to get to know what's going on in your partner's or family members' subconscious.

When I talk about dream interpretation, I don't mean referring to dream symbol dictionaries. I find them indicative at best, but they should not be used as a bible. I think everyone knows their own symbols without a dictionary, but it requires a bit of imagination, effort and putting your mind to it.

In my opinion and experience, the most useful method for analysing a dream is:

When you wake up, go through the dream while you're still laying down, or immediately after getting up. Don't let the feelings and images fade.

Think carefully what you felt in the dream. Don't focus on the images, people or actions in the dream yet, just think how you felt. Was the vibe uplifting, happy, content, neutral, anxious, scared, what?

Now look at the actions that you did or happened to you in the dream. Try to ignore the imagery again, just focus on the actions. Say, you were chased by a dragon. Ignore the dragon and focus on the feeling of being chased.

Scan through your life: what is causing you to feel like you'd rather flee? Is it your boss? Colleague? Partner? Life's pressure in general? The presentation you're supposed to give next week? Clearly you'd rather avoid something in your life and that's what the dragon symbolises.

Combine the action and the feeling, and again, ignore the imagery. What did you do or what happened to you and what it caused you to feel? This tells you the core of the issue. Scan your life again to recognise what matches or reminds you of this action and feeling in reality.

In my opinion, often in dreams, the look of the objects and/or people is of secondary value and the feelings they evoke are the focus point.

People and objects in dreams can be almost disposable or interchangeable with other people or objects, and the message would still be the same. It's like you need to strip the mask of the elements or actors/actresses in your dream to see the real meaning behind them.

An example: 

I still dream about my first boyfriend from my teenage years. I don't miss him - awake or in the dream-, but still he is a regular character in my dreams, playing the part of my partner.

I've had other partners since and I don't have any regrets about not being with this person anymore. I was baffled for a long time: why do I keep seeing him, even in intimate dreams, when he doesn't really matter to me anymore?

Finally I figured: it's not about him, it's about what's happening and what I'm doing and feeling in the dream. 

My mind has a habit of casting him into a generic role of the "opponent" to deal with issues I nowadays encounter in relationships (romantic, friendship, family, or work life) in general.

In that relationship, I often felt I was not heard or seen as I really was, I was misunderstood, or I was treated in an unfair manner. Whenever I'm feeling the same in my current life, the ex-boyfriend pops up to play the part so that I can practise dealing with these elements of misunderstandings or unfairness in my dreams.

In these dreams I've screamed, yelled, cried, walked away in puzzlement, walked away in disgust, stayed silent, tried to reason, tried to justify or explain, stood up for myself... It's like am trying every possible coping strategy to see how it works and feels to be able to use it in real life to solve the real life relationship issues.

And my ex-bf just happens to be cast in the role because my mind can easily recognise him as an "opponent" to practice with. It could be anyone else, really, or even an unknown person, but clearly my mind finds it easy to picture him for this purpose, so him it is.

In my opinion, the imagery of the dream does matter, but dreams should not be interpreted with a dictionary of readymade explanations. Yes, images symbol different elements in life, but I think they can be highly personal and one size does not fit all. Hence, it is worthwhile to study your own dreams to build a personalised alphabet for what the different elements can mean.


Some examples about what imagery can mean, based on my own dreams.

Landscapes in general tell what is my overall internal state: calm, happy, content, neutral, bewildered, anxious or something else. A beautiful landscape with nature, trees, flowers, water etc. tell about content and joy, whereas any type of a threatening landscape (including city scenes with scary people) indicate anxieties, worries or fears - either specific and topical, or general, underlying fears.

Interestingly, in dreams I sometimes see objects, events or people afar (veiled in blue haze) that will appear in my life in the future - geographically distant objects in a dream are distant in time in real life.

A house tells about my physical and mental state. If I've had a few drinks or I'm ill, there are bugs in the house. If the house is in order and tidy, I feel organised and in control. If it's in various states of disrepair, something needs to be fixed in my life or body. If there's water on the floor, I need to wake up to go to the toilet :D

A car tells about whether I feel in control or not in life. If I'm driving and it's going fine, all is under control. If the car is misbehaving or someone else is driving, I feel that I'm lacking control. This can be positive, negative or neutral, depending on who's driving and how's it going.

A train is about life and direction, too, but it's about focusing less on direction and more on who's on board with me. Life is on track, going where it needs to go, but who's with me (friends, relatives, partner, unknown people) can tell who matters to me in this moment or whom I should focus on.

Water is about emotions and thoughts. I've had some beautiful dreams about standing at the shore of a water body (lake, river or ocean) and I can see golden fish through the pristine water clearly. After those dreams I know I'll soon get an epiphany of some sort - there's absolute clarity of thought; and stillness or calmness of emotions.

Dreams, in essence, are metaphors for different situations in life and not everyone has the same metaphors or symbol library. It can be hugely informative and entertaining to recognise your own symbols. Next time you have a dream you remember, why not have a crack in analysing it instead of letting it disappear!

Something visible and useful can crystallise out of a dream if you take a close look. 

Cheat sheet - how to interpret Minor Arcana court cards?

This post relates to the earlier Cheat Sheet - how to interpret Minor Arcana pip cards? 

Because court cards can only be understood and interpreted as a member of their suit (wands, swords, cups or pentacles), please refer to the linked post to check what the suits mean in tarot in case you're not yet familiar with them.

The court cards can be read as energies or concepts but I personally always see them signifying people: either the reader him/herself or someone else influential or connected to the question.

The court cards are a combination of their suit's meaning and the "job title" - the Page, the Knight, the Queen and the King.

With the court cards, it's useful to flex your imagination to figure what each one of these court positions or "titles" meant in history. The court member roles originate from the Medieval era, but they also refer to the archetypal family: the daughter, the son, the mother, the father, and what sort or behaviour or traits could these roles encompass (in a stereotypical way).

When court cards come up, they can mean either different people with the portrayed traits, or different personality aspects or behaviours of the same person. Also, men can come up as Queens (or Pages = daughters) and women as Kings (or Knights = sons), depending on their personality or behaviour.

The Pages

A page in the Medieval period was someone in training to become a knight.

This tells a page is a young person learning something. In tarot, the Page normally means someone who is young or young-at-heart, or behaves in an "childish" manner. Note: childish can mean positive or negative things.

A child can be innocent, curious, keen to learn, open-minded, flexible thinker, not stuck in a rut, happy-go-lucky, willing to try new things and imaginative. On the other hand, a child can be impatient, immature, inexperienced and inconsiderate.

In tarot, Pages are also seen as messengers.

The Pages are sometimes called the Daughter or the Princess of the suit, because Pages are seen as having traits that (in a stereotypical sense) girls/young women have: curiosity, creativity, sensitivity, artistic traits and a wish and skill to connect with other people in an emotional level.

To figure out the meaning of each Page, you'll simply combine the "personality traits" of a Page in general with that particular Page's suit. The Fire Page, Page of Wands, is curious about the world of inner drive, passion, energy and excitement. What could be exciting? Newness, risks and adventure, for example.

The Air Page, Page of Swords, is curious about the world of thought: words, word plays, sense of humour, communication, reading and writing, problem solving. But s/he's only learning, so the result can be great innovative insights or immature blunders.

The Water Page, Page of Cups is drawn to the world of emotions: s/he likes to learn about and test the waters in the area of feelings, including being kind, innocent, sensitive, artistic and having a crush or falling in love.

The Earth Page, Page of Pentacles is the learner of all things material: a new job, studies, apprenticeship; finding ways to earn money or come up with tentative business ideas; find new directions to invest money or source an income; or being creative for practical purposes.

The Knights

A knight in the Medieval times was the soldier, the guard, the protector and the champion of the royal family.

Accordingly, the traits that Knights have in tarot are for example to: fight, protect, and explore/expand (the territories of their suit). The Knights are often portrayed as horsemen to indicate movement and pace: the Page walks by foot, so s/he can't go very far with his or her explorations. But the Knight can come and go as s/he pleases and cover vast distances - not just take tentative steps in the suit's energy but explore it.

Knights are sometimes called the Sons or Princes of the suit because their traits are seen to be (the stereotypical) traits of boys and young men: adventurous, bold, keen to explore and conquer and/or protect. Depending on the suit, the Knights can be reliable or unreliable (dependable or rash), valiant, courageous or hot-headed like real life sons.

The Knight of Wands is the explorer and fighter of the Fire suit, so s/he can be impatient, flighty, rash, fast, passionate and unreliable.

The Knight of Swords is the soldier of the Air suit, so words and thoughts are his/her weapons: this knight can be quick to attack or defend him/herself, charge into action, dive into debates and act or speak before thinking.

The Knight of Cups is the explorer and protector of the world of emotions: the charming prince, the white knight, the artist, poet, musician, the romantic...

The Knight of Pentacles is the dutiful soldier of earthly matters: reliable and diligent worker, caretaker of finances, the accountant, and the ever-dependable - but maybe a bit dull - person who will not leave a duty undone.

The Queens

A queen in the Medieval times was the spouse of the king and not as high in authority (although some powerful queens exist in history, like Elizabeth I of England in the 1500s). However, the queens have always had indirect power as ruler-partners who advise and influence the king and inspire and nurture their people - they set an example for behaviour as the Mother of the Nation.

Queens represent the archetypal personalities of women: wives, mothers, sisters, friends, home-makers, carers, nurturers; but also independent, powerful (business)women of today. The Queens represent the archetypal feminine energy or outlook in life combined with their suit's energy.

The Queens also relate to emotions:

Queen of Wands experiences and expresses life with passion, drive and creativity - she also knows how to express and enjoy her sexuality.

Queen of Swords experiences and expresses thoughts and feelings by rationalising them, operating at the level of logic and analytical thought.

Queen of Cups experiences and expresses her feelings at a purely emotional level, dwelling in them, showering them around, being the most (stereotypically) feminine of the Queens.

Queen of Pentacles experiences and expresses her feelings from a pragmatic, down-to-earth point of view, by taking care of her family, home and business efficiently, but always with a warm touch.

A highly informative, deeper post about the Queens is available here, Truly Teach Me Tarot.

My favourite Queens, the Queen of Wands of the Witches Tarot deck and the Guardian of Air (Queen of Swords) of the Gaian Tarot deck. The fire queen above looks content, confident and relaxed surrounded by her favourite things and energising colours. The air queen below is a tribal wise woman with generations' worth of knowledge; a sought-after adviser for clarity and direction.

The Kings

A king in the Medieval times was the ultimate ruler, the head of the nation (the suit). Kings have full authority over their own actions and can influence or order other people, too.

In tarot, the King is someone who has mastered the energy of the suit and can use its power externally: the King is able to use the suit's energy for his/her own benefit but also for the benefit of others to influence and empower - to rule in the world's fullest sense. The kings are also the archetypal representations of masculine traits: the protector, the ruler, the boss, the provider, the decision-maker.

King of Wands is an energetic, enthusiastic and excited leader who is able to live his/her truth, be authentic, and inspire and influence others to be their best selves. This King is also passionate and sexual, as per his fire suit.

King of Swords is the master of analytical thought: think of a mindset of an engineer or an analyst. He'll cut through any confusion and will find and present the core of the issue with absolute clarity. He is also convincing and logical in communication. He makes decisions based on rational thought and will not be swayed by emotions.

King of Cups is the master of his own and others' emotions: he's mature and wise, and he's an excellent counsellor. He knows how to be quietly and warmly supportive as a friend, boss, spouse or a relative.

King of Pentacles is sometimes dubbed the "husband" card in the archetypal sense: he's the caretaker, provider, traditional leader who relies on common sense and good money management. He's pragmatic, organised and steady.

Again, a handy intro to the Kings is presented at Truly Teach Me Tarot. And, again, both men and women can come up as Queens or Kings: the cards show personality traits and behaviour, not solely or always the physical gender of the person.

My favourite Kings: the Grail King (King of Cups) of the Arthurian Tarot deck, and the King of Wands of the Joie de Vivre deck. The water king above captures the maturity and wisdom of the King of Cups (a respected shaman in tune with nature, spirits and human nature) and the fire king below is having fun, being fully and unapologetically himself. I always see this card as the King and Queen of Wands having a laugh and play around - passionate and enthusiastic as they are - but according to Pauline Cassidy, the creator of the deck, the King is riding on his trustworthy steed. 

Reversed court cards

If the court card pops out reversed (upside down), it can mean that the personality traits associated with the card are from the negative end of the spectrum. Instead of curious and open-minded, the Pages can be childish and bickering. Instead of bold and strong, the Knights can be inconsiderate and unreliable. Instead of supportive and emotionally confident, the Queens can be manipulative or bitchy. Instead of showing true leadership, the Kings can be repressing and controlling.

However, nothing in tarot is black and white, so always take into consideration the question, the surrounding cards and your own intuitive hunches of the matter at hand.
I hope this helps!

Why and how to improve your intuition?

Learning tarot is not just about memorising the card meanings. It's mostly about letting your intuition guide your rational mind instead of the - usual - other way around. And this is much more difficult to many/most people than expected!

As a tarot teacher, I've learned that the biggest obstacle in the way of a successful reading is the lack of trust in your own intuition and imagination; not letting that part of yourself come to light and direct your rational mind.

I grew up surrounded by stories and artwork. My home was not particularly artistic, but my parents believed in teaching kids to read young and we had bookshelves full of story and picture books. I learned all the traditional fairytales before the school age and I loved the weekly trips to the library to borrow more picture books. I also loved drawing, so I was deep in the world of stories, pictures and symbols for the best part of my childhood - and I still miss that incredible feeling of immersion only a child can achieve.

Now, how this relates to tarot, intuition or teaching it?

I had never realised before I started using and teaching tarot cards that not everyone is equally comfortable with letting their imagination soar.

We are taught from early on to be practical, rational and sensible. "Stop daydreaming and get on with your homework/studies/work" is one of the most common instructions we all get from our parents, teachers, bosses and ourselves. And this is a shame, I think, because imagination and intuition are different sides of the same coin and we can't use our intuition effectively without imagination.

Tarot is not about voodoo, superstition or hocus pocus. Tarot is about accessing your own intuition for a clearer decision making in life.

If you know what your drivers are - the deeply held fears, hopes and aspirations - you're bound to make more informed choices in life, and can access and build deeper and longer-lasting happiness and satisfaction.

This is not marketing hype, it's something I've seen happening for myself and countless of other people who have learned to listen to and trust their intuition - either with or without the cards.

Tarot cards are useful in practising the use of intuition, because they bring the elusive and ambivalent emotions, hopes and fears visible by showing them in a picture form instead of one having to scope them in the "dark", only by sensing and observing one's inner workings.

Tarot is not the only pathway available to your inner world. Paying attention to dreams and gut feelings work, too, as well as meditation.

I've recently started this practice of "checking up" with my intuition to see what's going on in my life and what direction my subconscious sees or expects/prompts me to take. It's probably a form of meditation but I like to think it as a check up, taking a look on my subconscious. If you believe in clairvoyancy (by telepathy or accessing the collective subconscious), this can also be used to read for other people.

How to improve intuition and imagination - 
through meditation

Find a quiet spot in your house and preferably try this in the morning before all the hassle of the day. I've found that within an hour of waking up the mind is still close to the dreaming state and more receptive to images, and you're not overburdened by the stress and chores of the day.

Sit down, close your eyes and try to not think. No talking to oneself, no questioning, no planning or remembering, just let your mind be.

Then, whatever thought or image, no matter how faint, appears - let it come and watch it with your mind's eye.

When doing this, I don't see as clear images as in a dream, but I do get hunches, physical sensations (warmth, sounds, smells) and "see" or experience images or even "videos" with my minds eye. It's difficult to explain because it's not as clear as a full-on (lucid) dream, but it's clear enough to pick the message.

The main thing is to allow and trust what comes and simply observe. Don't try to guess whether the image is relevant, or whether it's "correct". Try not to direct the images or the story, just sit and watch.

Absolutely don't try to guess where the story will go, otherwise you're letting your rational mind take the lead and the whole purpose of this exercise is to let your intuition lead the way.

I usually watch the images or the "video" for maybe 30 -60 seconds after they start; then I pause to write it down. Longer periods (even up to an hour - how long you feel you can do it without falling asleep ;) ) are fine too, but I personally prefer to take breaks to take notes. For me this pace works because it allows me to just sit and observe without thinking or trying to memorise or analyse, and I can still remember the images to write them down and start analysing afterwards.

Don't be put off if you don't get anything sensible, or anything at all for the first few minutes. It's possible nothing comes (or you don't  know how to spot it) for the first few attempts. It's a skill that needs to be practiced. Intuition and imagination are like muscles - everyone has them, but the ones you don't use, tend to get weak and when you start exercising, they feel utterly useless at first!

I tend to see symbolical images - people in historical dresses and in all sorts of landscapes, and I interpret it later. The message doesn't have to be a photographic presentation of your everyday life to be meaningful. After all, this is akin to watching dreams fully conscious and also interpreting them on the go. And dreams are not necessarily straightforward representations of your life - yet they are relevant to understanding your own inner workings, beliefs, fears, motifs etc.

I've found that for any sort of intuitive practice, be it dreams, tarot or meditation / check ups / clairvoyancy, it helps to be acquainted with symbols, fairytales, folklore and legends to fine tune your intuition and "vocabulary". I'm an art historian and it helps me immensely with seeing and understanding coded messages. But you can find your own meanings and interpretations, too.

If you find meditation or clairvoyancy difficult to start with, try cloud watching. Just let your mind see patterns, images and symbols to get into the practice of letting your intuition direct your mind instead of the other way around. Don't disregard anything as silly, just keep watching and imagining - it will bear fruit eventually with improved clarity and self-knowledge!

Where will your intuition lead you, if you let it take the lead for a change? Photo via Kaboompics.

Cards don't match my life - are they wrong?

I've done more than thousand readings for other people and probably the double number for myself by now. I've also actively followed how other people read on online forums. Based on this experience, I've concluded that there are three major reasons where the reading can go wrong, meaning that the cards and the real life events don't seem to match.

The top three reasons why the events that happen don't match your cards:

1. you ask when will someone else or the universe in general fix your problems.
2. you assume that feelings will cause actions.
3. you retrospectively change the question to fit the cards or read what you want to see. 

#1 - When will my luck change?

In my experience, this is the most common type of question to ask from tarot, and I've done it often - too often - as well.

Will X contact me or fall in love with me? Will X approach me after the fall out and make everything right? Will employer X soon tell me I got the job? Will I go for the trip I'm planning? Will I move house like I'm planning? Will my luck change soon? Will my life change soon? Will everything be better soon?

Of course, it's understandable to be curious about what will come. We can't always ask directly from people around us, so we turn to the cards to get some visibility and perhaps reassurance.

However, more often than not this seems to cause frustration instead of clarity. The cards might tell that X will not take any action, or not such action that would benefit or please us, which is bound to disappoint. Or, the cards do tell that things will change, so you just sit back and wait for the change - which never comes due to the lack of required action from your part!

The main pitfall is that if you ask what will X do about this situation, you're bound to get an answer that's outside of your control. And usually there's a 50-50% chance that the card is not positive. Because X is probably equally scared/hesitant/offended/shy to be the first person to take action, declare love, send a date invite, offer an olive branch or confess that s/he was wrong!

To feel more empowered and in control, it's always better to ask action-oriented questions, such as "what can I do to make this situation progress as I'd like?"

I like to use a simple 4-card spread for situation - challenge - advice - outcome to scope, what is going on, what is working against me or is difficult for me right now, what is the best course of action, and what is the likely outcome with the advice. That way I at least know what is within my control and what is not, and I have a chance to do everything I can to initiate the change I want.

#2 - If X likes me, surely s/he'll ask me out?

It's incredibly common to see people ask questions about feelings, get positive cards, and then get disappointed by the lack of following action. If person X likes me, surely s/he'll ask me out, right?

Nope. Having feelings for someone and actually acting on those feelings are two completely different scenarios. I personally believe that if you like someone and get hints about being liked back - and your cards are confirming this - then why not go ahead and make the first move yourself?

I've always been the one to initiate dates, because I'm so afraid of losing a perfect opportunity just because the other person might be too shy and afraid of rejection. Yes, I have been rejected. And I lived to tell the tale. Personally I find fretting about someone's feelings much worse than getting clarity, even with the risk of rejection. At least it's settled then, and I can move on.

If you're one of those people who think that your romantic interest should prove their worthiness by being the first one to make the move, then... why exactly is the other person the only one having to prove themselves and risk rejection? Surely you're not the King or Queen of Saba, who can't interact with mere mortals, eh? ;)

Seriously folks. If you like someone, make a move. Don't draw cards night after night after night. Same applies, if you've fallen out with someone, or need to make amends. Extend the hand, send the ball to the other side of the court by taking action. You'll feel much better afterwards, in the grand scheme of things, even if the answer is no.

#3 - What's going on in his/her life? Oh, we'll get married!

This is simultaneously the most baffling and the most understandable "reading mistake" to make.

You check how things are going for your ex and pull, say, 10 Cups - bliss, happiness, joy, family. Suddenly the reading looks like a promise for you to finally get back together. Or, you ask: when will I hear about the job I applied for and get 4 Wands - happy home, completion of a project. Wow, this looks like the job is yours! But wait...

Notice what happened there? The first question was about "what is going on in X's life", not "what will happen to X and me together in the future?". The second question was about "when will I hear...", not "what are my chances with this job" or "what is the result of this application process for me", or something along those lines.

So, the first card can mean that your ex is indeed doing fine, but the card does not include you, unless you specifically ask. The second card can mean: you'll hear the outcome in four days or four weeks (depending on how you time with tarot), but it doesn't necessarily say you'll get it, even though it is more positive than negative looking card.

I'm most surprised by many people's (understandable) tendency to interpret negative cards positively in relationship readings, in particular regarding ex-partners or romantic interests.

I've seen dozens of readings where a person asks: what does X feel for me? and the answer is, for example, 8 Cups - moving on, loss -, or 5 Pentacles - being without, lacking something. And these cards are then interpreted as signs of great longing and love: X is feeling lost and cold without me. Errr, what if it means: "X couldn't give a toss about you", which is my instinctive take on these.

I'm sorry if this sounds cynical, but I think it's better to acknowledge the truth, in particular if the "doesn't care" card is also reinforced by action or rather, lack of action by the said ex or romantic interest. There's no point in fooling oneself to see great love and longing in "walking away towards the new shores" type of cards; there's only heartbreak in store for that, unfortunately.

However, this same phenomenon works the other way too, and I've seen many readings where the person won't acknowledge the positive message when it's slamming them in the face.

The most important skill of a tarot reader is the ability to detach. From the question and from the outcome.

Whatever comes up, try to remember (or better yet, write down) the exact wording of the question and then examine the cards as objectively as possible in relation to that particular question. If the cards still don't make sense, record the reading and sleep on it - check back later to see if you'll figure something new out. As a last straw, ask another, more carefully worded question and maybe consider a positioned reading, where each card answers a particular question.

Cards don't match the question? Are you sure you remember the question you asked and are not trying to push a square block through a round hole?

Destiny or not? How to tell the difference

Earlier I wrote about not giving away your power in life. But what if you are simply hit by a bout of bad luck, or some events are destined to happen and you can't direct them? None of us can win the lottery with sheer willpower, after all.

So, how to know whether you're dealing with a situation that can be changed, or are simply down on your luck and have to accept it - for now?

Firstly, I think there's two polar opposite world views in play here. The other edge says: it's all in the hands of fate/god/universe, there's not much I can do to change it. The opposite edge says: it's all up to me and there's no obstacle big enough to keep me at bay. The most realistic attitude to take is - IMO and quoting the Serenity Prayer: help me to change things I can change, accept the things I can't change, and know the difference between the two.

But, how to know the difference? Tarot to the rescue [drum roll]! Tarot contains cards to tell when things at play are brought to you by destiny - or luck or chance, whichever you'd like to call it.

Cards indicating destiny

The most "obvious" destiny cards for me are the World (successful and/or natural ending, completion of a chapter, lesson learned), the Wheel of Fortune (chance, luck, destiny, change) but also the Empress; she's often interpreted as the divine feminine or the principle of femininity (as in: ideal woman), but also creativity, nurture and nature. For me personally, the Empress is about divine guidance: what is heralded by the Empress is a blessing on its way.

I interpret the Wheel of Fortune to mean a situation that will have long-term impact on life. The Wheel moments in itself can actually go unnoticed. Often only after years it becomes clear that the specific encounter, decision, action or day was much more important than seemed.

Other destiny-related cards for me are the Star - hope, optimism and (spiritual/divine) guidance; the High Priestess - listening to one's intuition and inner wisdom; and Tower, inevitable, sudden shock to the system.

However, many tarotists believe that everything in life is part of destiny - destiny, after all, is the life's path. Cards can tell what's going on in your life in the spiritual or metaphysical level. Hence, any and every card tells about the spiritual, deeper meaning and a lesson in life a mundane event, mindset, feeling or action can have.

Is destiny unchangeable? 

Here we hit an interesting question: is destiny, as the name implies, pre-destined aka unchangeable, or is it merely the course of events that happen? The former assumes a fatalistic view: what will happen, will happen. The latter thinks: things that I do and things of happenstance are what form to be my destiny - I'm making my own destiny.

I think life is a mix of both, but most importantly, it always depends on our own and other people's choices and decisions.

The most common times for people to request a love reading are at the edge of a new relationship, or on a rocky patch in their current one. More than once I've pulled shiny happy cards telling that the couple will do just fine, and that's how it went - for a period of time. Until the situation changes. Sometimes it's a temporary glitch, sometimes it's final separation.

I've been pretty gutted by this because I've thought I've interpreted the cards wrong. Did I inadvertently encourage people to stay together, when they, in fact, separated later anyway? What was the point? However, when I've asked about this "wrong" advice I've received, the answer from the cards was: you helped them to complete a chapter in life, learn a lesson.

Every relationship happens for a reason

Sometimes the reason is to live happily ever after. Sometimes it is to learn about oneself and others, and about emotions and behaviours in general.

Even if you don't believe in any sort of divine guidance, every relationship does happen for a reason as they teach plenty about ourselves, for our own development purposes. It's up to everyone to decide what to take on board from a successful or a "failed" relationship. Should I take grudge, jealousy, anger, vengefulness, vulnerability, broken dreams? Or should I take improved self-knowledge and mental and emotional tools to make it work better next time?

Furthermore, even though almost every tarot spread contains the final card called "outcome", there's no such thing in life than outcome.

Temporary outcomes, yes, but because life goes on, situations evolve and change, too. And so do people. So even the happily ever after - stage (10 Cups in tarot) needs to be recreated every day, by the couple, actively. It doesn't just emerge and stay like that as an ever-frozen snapshot of time. This, of course, applies to negative "outcomes" too.

Can destiny be escaped? 

I personally believe that there are moments and circumstances in life we have no control or chance to direct, whatsoever. Take natural disasters, accidents, many illnesses, crime, etc. But even then we are not helpless. How to react and what attitude to take are completely up to each one of us.

So if a "destiny card" pops up in your reading, it doesn't mean: accept it meekly and passively. It means: look what you can learn from it, and if needed and/or possible, try to steer the outcome to the best possible direction. Don't just hang in there in the pin of the Wheel of Fortune and let it slam you around like an old dish rag! :)

Serenity Prayer Spreads (things I can and can't change)

These spreads are created by the Aeclectic Tarot Forum members Daisy Dragonfly and Embla, respectively, and they capture the essence of the Serenity Prayer in a useful manner:

1: What I cannot change?
2: What I can change?
3: Message/wisdom from the universe.

&

1: Serenity - How do I find serenity in this situation?
2: Acceptance - How do I find acceptance of the things I can´t change?
3: Courage - How do I find the courage to change the things I can?
4: Wisdom - How do I find the wisdom to know the difference between 2 and 3?

Destiny may have a path for you but  it's still up to you whether to follow it, take a short cut, detour or go meander someplace else. Photo via Freenaturestock. 

Cheat sheet - how to interpret Minor Arcana pip cards

I haven't written a lot about card meanings, because there are plenty of tarot tutorials online already. But I realised it might be a good thing to have at least a bit of a cheat sheet available here, too. So let's explore the Minor Arcana pip cards and court cards to open up their symbols. Another cheat sheet for interpreting Minor Arcana court cards and the Major Arcana cards are coming up soon.

The difference between Major and Minor Arcana

The standard tarot deck has 78 cards, of which 22 are Major Arcana (cards for major life lessons and profound or underlying situations more or less out of the querent's control); and 56 are Minor Arcana representing faster-changing energies, such as everyday feelings, actions and behaviours.

Minor Arcana are divided into suits, like a standard playing card deck. The suits are actually the same as in the playing card decks, just under different names. In tarot:

Clubs are Wands (or Batons, Rods etc.) representing fire.
Spades are Swords (or Spears, Pens etc.) representing air.
Hearts are Cups (or Chalices, Hearts, etc.) representing water.
Diamonds are Pentacles (or Disks, Rocks etc.) representing earth.

What do the suits mean?

The element of Fire - Wands - speaks about the inner drive, the inner fire of people: energy, excitement, passion, inspiration, motivation.

The element of Air - Swords - deals with the world of thought: words, communication, rational thinking, thoughts that can either cut through the clouds of confusion, bring clarity, or hurt if they are too sharp or said at the wrong time.

The element of Water - Cups - is about the whole range of emotions and feelings we humans can experience, from love to joy to sadness to disappointment to contentment to overflowing bliss, and everything in between.

The element of Earth - pentacles - is about all things material: the physical body, the physical world, material possessions and belongings, work and money, but also nature around us.

What do the pip numbers mean?

Minor Arcana pips actually work very logically and the meaning consists of both the suit element and the number of the pip. There are 10 pip (or number) cards in Minor Arcana, and four court cards per each suit, the royal family. I'll discuss the court cards in a separate blog post.

It's practical to know some numerology for interpreting cards, but it's not necessary. Often the meaning of the number can be figured out with a bit of logic, intuition and deduction skills. It also helps to think what the previous number meant, and what could follow if you add +1 to it.

Like this:

#1 - this is obviously the start, the first number. So, it can mean a beginning, first step, seed that can grow, an opportunity or potential, birth of something (like a new idea or new feelings). When you combine the number and the element, you'll be able to figure the basic meaning of what the card is about:

Ace (#1) of Wands is the spark that sets something on fire, meaning passion, motivation, energy... it can be anything from a creative idea to sex. Ace of Cups is a birth of feelings, so it can be about falling in love or experiencing something fresh and overflowing. Ace of Swords is a birth of a new idea, the absolute clarity or truth. Ace of Pentacles is the first seed, the opportunity that can grow into something steady and valuable.

#2 - what can follow from 1+1? Options. Now there are two instead of one. It can be about a need to choose, balance, discard something in favour of the other, or grow this idea/energy further, to three and beyond. Or, it can be about split focus and inability to concentrate before a choice is made.

There can also be literal two bodies: 2 Wands is about choice but it can also mean two passionate people; 2 Cups is about two hearts connecting, 2 Pentacles can be two people who have been brought together by circumstances, and 2 Swords is the inability to choose (possibly between two people).

#3 - when two becomes three, what's going on? Growth, expansion, more. Three as a number can be promising or destabilising. It can indicate a team or a family, or a group of friends. But, sometimes three is a crowd.

3 Wands means growing your burst of an idea/passion/motivation, planning ahead. 3 Cups is three hearts coming together in joy: friendship and reunions (or a love triangle sometimes). 3 Swords is about words that hurt (after the indecision or deliberate blindfolding of 2 Swords, there is clarity but it's not always pleasant) and 3 Pentacles is about teamwork, coming together to build something valuable (add the third brick on top of two and it's a beginning of a building, symbolically).

#4 - four legs of a chair makes it stable, and four corners of a house keep it standing. Four is about stability, steadiness, culmination, the first possible stage of completion of something.

4 Wands is steadily-burning, contained fire, like a home hearth or a relationship that has settled down beautifully. 4 Swords is about calming down restless thoughts, making them steady through rest. 4 Cups can mean steady feelings, but what do you get when feelings don't change at all? Complacency and boredom. 4 Pentacles is about steady material matters, but again, it can mean settling for too little due to not wanting to risk a thing.

#5 - add one to four and things become unstable again. There is something shaky, shady or wobbly going on now.

5 Wands is about unstable passion: frustrations, energy flare ups, competition, each wand (motivation/passion/person) trying to come out on top. 5 Swords, too, is about competition, but in an underhanded way. Words and thoughts are used to destabilise the other, to gain steadier ground for oneself with any means necessary. 5 Cups is about instability in emotions: something is not lasting or something was not gained. And 5 Pentacles is about shaky finances or physical matters (health, shelter): 5 is half way to the completion of 10 so 5 Pentacles is about not having enough and worrying about it.

#6 - now we have the first number that's closer to completion (10) than the beginning (1). At this stage the number symbolism becomes a bit more abstract, but it's still followable. The main theme is: having enough.

6 Wands is about victory, praise and acclaim (you've showed enough drive to be recognised); 6 Swords is about moving away from distress and turmoil (having had enough of stress); 6 Cups is about fond memories and enjoying sweet little things in life (having enough emotions to cherish them); and 6 Pentacles is about having enough to give out - help out - in terms of money, resources, time, support, advice...

#7 - things grow shakier again when an odd number is introduced. Number 7 is very much about taking a risk: the "enough" of 6 was not enough forever, now it's time to stand up and go after more.

7 Wands is about taking a stand for what you believe in, try to win against the odds, achieve the almost-impossible. 7 Swords is about wanting more thoughts/info/knowledge for your own gain: strategising, taking other people's thoughts (as in; doing research but also as in: spying), running with your own agenda. 7 Cups is the emotional risk that follows from dreaming up options, making wishes, building cloud castles; and 7 Pentacles is about assessing risk by patiently waiting for uncertain rewards.

#8 - we're getting closer to 10 and 8 is about the suit's energy aligning to form a perfect set: but what builds up is not always what you wanted, after all.

8 Wands is the smooth alignment of passion and inspiration: whatever action, thought or plan you have, it's flowing fast-paced: news are coming in, things are happening fast. 8 Swords is about too many similar thoughts forming a wall: you feel trapped, but it's all in your head. Stepping away from these thoughts, or thinking different thoughts will set you free. 8 Cups is about feelings growing old and stale: what you have turns out or proves to be unsatisfying, it's not enough or the right kind. 8 Pentacles is about hard, repetitive work: practising something day after day, keen to reach the completion - mastery or financial success.

#9 - The culmination and completion of 10 is just around the corner, so the theme of 9 is: almost there - either this is nicely enough, or it's not enough, depending on the perspective.

9 Wands is about fire that has to be kept burning for one reason or another: stand your ground, persevere, don't give up. 9 Swords is about thoughts filling your head, their sharp blades hurting: rationalising or trying to solve something has not worked and now the thoughts keep you up at night. 9 Cups is about satisfaction and contentment: whatever you have, makes you feel good. 9 Pentacles is about enjoying confidence and independence of having enough in material sense, be it resources, money, possessions, health, and the following happiness.

#10 is the end of the number journey: it's about perfection, completion and culmination. However, 10 can be about "having all you can dream of" or "having too much and can't bear it".

10 Wands is "too much" passion: the projects and ideas you've picked up have now turned into heavy obligations and you must let something go before you collapse. 10 Swords is about thinking something too much, obsessing: there's no clarity, just the torture of the blades. It must and will end: your mind will grow tired of this topic and will let go even if it hurts. 10 Cups is about the happy bliss, the perfect moment of joy and satisfaction; and 10 Pentacles is about being satisfied with your material circumstances and/or financial stability. 10 Pentacles can also speak about the extended family and heritage/traditions/roots/comfort zone.

This is not an exhaustive list of what the cards can mean in readings, but hopefully it gives food for thought for how to work out meanings even from the cards you are not that familiar with yet!

I first got the 4 Wands, happy home and completion of a project, for a question "what will my next job be?" a year ago. And now I work from home (in addition to my full-time office job) as a tarot reader and teacher. What can you say: I do love my pretty home and this nice home-based job :)