I thought this time I could talk about something that I have been struggling with to learn.
Grounding oneself.
This is the topic every mindfulness teacher, meditation guru or yoga enthusiast seems to be preaching, but what does it actually mean?
Feeling grounded can mean feeling in balance, or feeling steady, or feeling in control of one's life. But does it mean you won't budge or be flexible? How to tell the difference between being grounded and balanced, and being fixated, stubborn or defensive? And furthermore: how to achieve this magical grounded state? What's the purpose of it or what are the benefits of it?
I am a curious and interested person in general and read a lot, about any topic under the sun: politics, news, environment, arts and culture, social issues, lifestyle, tarot, mindfulness, life change, and so on. Consequently, I have quite a big of a memory bank of assorted facts and bits of info. I also love interacting in the social media, but unfortunately I have had to admit to myself that I'm not very skilled at it. In terms of staying balanced, grounded and helpful.
I was not making a positive difference.
Probably we all know how chats or debates on Facebook and elsewhere online can turn sour or heated with a couple of insensitive comments and I have not done my bit to keep it civil. I'm not one to call names, because I believe when your resort to yelling at someone (either vocally or by texting) "you're an idiot", you've lost it: the other person won't listen nor respect you and that's the end of any fruitful interaction.
However, I used to pride myself for stingy little witty remarks that shut up the other person. I thought I won the argument. But did I?
Of course not.
What happens in situations like that is that the other leaves the conversation and continues to believe what they believe, perhaps even double convinced that it's their job to expose the big conspiracy about the world government faking the climate change - whereas I'm in the camp green and hoping to change our lifestyle to more sustainable before it's too late.
With a lot of contemplation, both on purpose and subconsciously, and also with a business mentor, I've finally reached a state when I understand where my need to win stemmed.
From fear.
Subconsciously, I've been thinking that if I give room to opinions that drastically differ from mine, I'm allowing my beliefs and convictions to be slowly nibbled away and they will disappear or be "overruled" by someone else.
And this is where groundedness or "being centred" comes at play.
Being grounded simply means I understand what are my core values and where my emotional or intellectual roots are. A person who is grounded is able to be flexible and curious, like a resilient coastal tree in the wind, but it won't snap, nor it will be ripped away by the storm. After encountering a bit of a gush or a full-on storm, the tree simply wavers back to its spot and continues life.
A grounded person does not have a need to try to overrule others, or aggressively oppose their views. The person knows s/he is who s/he is, no matter what others think. And a grounded person is able to be open to others' views, curiously and maturely, to learn and evolve within and around one's core.
Of course, there are opinions in this world that are nothing but hurtful; racism, sexism, or any sort of discrimination or bullying. But a grounded person is able to stand up against those with calm wisdom and properly thought-through arguments; and also with understanding that these views usually rise from fear or misunderstandings. The calmer and more respectful the discussion, the better the outcome, usually.
Here's a little tarot spread to examine this topic - what are your core values and how to be more grounded?
1. What is my core value?
2. Why does it matter so much to me?
3. What action can I take to feel more grounded?
4. What aspect in my thinking I should change to respect others' core values?
5. How to live a more balanced, satisfying life in general?
And a sample spread:
1. THE EMPRESS. This is the card of the feminine principle/archetype: nurture and care, creation, nature, Gaia. For me personally it means appreciating nature and creativity in all its forms, because it is our divine purpose to live on this planet as its guardians and explore and express our creativity. This card absolutely nails my core value, well done tarot!
2. 7 PENTACLES. This card is about putting in effort to make something tangible happen: waiting for results. For me it says: my core value is important, because it's a way to make a difference, to make something new, to cultivate this living environment of ours towards better for all.
3. 10 CUPS. This is the card of happy community: a loving family, peaceful society, happiness and bliss shared with others. I should draw from my community and contribute to its harmony and joy with my own actions.
4. 2 PENTACLES. This card talks about balancing two equally important matters. Clearly I should remember that what is different, is not necessarily of lesser value. Other people's views can be equally important and there's no need for either party to give up on their beliefs - they can coexist.
5. THE CHARIOT. This card is about will-power, determination, driving towards a goal, wanting to achieve things. This is a bit tricky card for myself because it usually pops up to denote situations where someone is applying too much willpower; is steamrolling others. Maybe it's a reminder for me *not to do that*, but also remember to strive towards my goal to actively improve this world.
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| This world is full of different people with different "home beliefs"and the best course of action is simply to try to get along. Photo (c) Tarot for Change. |
